It’s Complicated: When Facebook Status Can’t Describe You, Part 2

Yesterday, D wrote an excellent article that described some of the reasons why some LGBT couples describe their relationships as “It’s Complicated.

Of course, there are as many relationship types as there are colors of d20s, so I figured I’d throw my hat in and describe some of the more “complicated” relationships that I’ve encountered while wandering the planet.

The Trio

There’s a happy trio I know and love that consists of a married couple (M&F) and their live-in girlfriend. The married couple have been together for well over a decade now, and their girlfriend moved in several years later. When you see them out and about, it may be as a trio or in the three options for a couple: MF, M-otherF, or FF.  It works out really well for them since if one person of a trio doesn’t like a particular activity, they don’t feel bad about staying home.

Another trio I know that’s been together for several years is one in which two men share the same girlfriend, but not each other (unlike the first trio). Most of the time I see this trio, it’s as a couple. When you first meet them, you just see a boyfriend and a girlfriend, so on the surface, not complicated.

The Open Marriage

I know of four open marriages. Possibly one of my favorite couples are some friends of mine from Florida. They have been together for about 15 years now and they attribute the success of their relationship to the fact that they both maintain casual relationships. Occasionally they’ll bring home someone to share, but mostly, they have their own boyfriends on the side. Since their boyfriends are just flings and never serious relationships, they don’t need to bother defining them beyond that.

Another “It’s Complicated” of an open marriage: After being married about a decade, they decided to open their marriage and start dating other people. He has a steady girlfriend, while she’s just dating. Most anyone who knows him has heard him speak openly of his wife and his girlfriend, sometimes in the same sentence. They’re very open about it.

Another “It’s Complicated” of an open marriage:   He’s dating a married woman with the full consent of her husband. The husband is not currently dating outside of the marriage. They refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend but not in the open way of the couple above.

Another “It’s Complicated” of an open marriage: When she got married, a friend of mine told her new husband: “I don’t have a problem with you sleeping with other women, you just need to tell me first.” It’s been 6 years and he still hasn’t taken her up on the offer… but he could.

Are They Dating Or What?

Ever met two people that you swear are a couple but everyone’s like, “No, they’re just roommates?” Yep, I’ve known at least three of those. Sometimes they are just roommates, but they’ve lived together for so long that they have the ease of interaction that feels couple-y. Of course, then there are the roommates who occasionally have a romp in the sack since hey, we’re here, we don’t hate each other, we have needs… why not, right?

How about you?

Since I’m not *in* a complicated relationship, I want to defer to you, dear readers. How do you describe your complicated relationship to other people?

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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