The unfortunate thing about most people is that they don’t bother to check out what the profiles of other people like them say. Let’s make a trip to match.com and look at some men’s profiles. No guys, this won’t make you gay. In fact, if you hide your profile and then search, nobody will know but you.
I’m looking for things that guys write again and again in their profiles. Things that make girls (especially geek girls) roll their eyes and move on to another guy.
For purposes of this article, I have done a Reverse Search on match.com. This type of search allows me to see the profiles of men who are interested in girls like me – late20s/early30s, educated, professional women.
Enter Captain Obvious
- “I’m down-to-earth and laid back”
If I had a nickel for every profile with a variation on that sentence, I would be a rich geek girl. This is a case of “show, don’t tell.” If you are down-to-earth, describe a situation in which you were the calm in the center of a storm. If you are laid back, describe the stress of your job and how it just rolls off you like a duck in a rain shower.
- “I’m kind of tired of the bar scene”
Yes, and we’re tired of hearing you say it. What will you NEVER tire of, ever? Could you watch your DVDs of Firefly until they spontaneously combust in your DVD player? Do you love your nightly walk around the lake? These kinds of details are what will excite us and make us want to contact you. If you’re tired of it, why do we need to know?
- “Looking to meet a good looking woman with a great personality to have a great time.”
…as opposed to looking for a woman who fell out of the Ugly Tree, has anger management problems, and will beat the life out of you? Again, Captain Obvious strikes. If you want better results than him, you need to be more specific.
- “Enjoy traveling and spending time with family and good friends.”
Where do you travel? Why do you like it there? What do you do with your family? Any cool family traditions or legendary tales of escapades with your friends?
- “I want to find someone who can enjoy themselves doing pretty much anything and is a kind good person.”
Vague, vague, vague. Here’s a good place where you can be specific. “I want a girl who can make waiting in line for a rollercoaster more entertaining than the ride. She’s the girl who plays the claw machine just so she can give the toy she wins to the nearest kid.” These are anecdotes that don’t pinpoint a specific PERSON, but help define the character traits you value.
Go From Captain Obvious to Captain Awesome
The move from Captain Obvious to Captain Awesome is all in the details. I’ve given you some examples above. Go through your profile and pinpoint the things in it that scream “Durrr.” Then ask yourself, “What’s a concrete example of this?” or “What’s a story about my life I can tell that shows this quality?” Delete the old stuff and write in the newer, more concrete, more awesomely YOU stuff. Then watch the emails roll in.
Happy dating, geek friends.
This post was originally published on 14 March 2008. It’s been extensively edited and updated, just for you. Enjoy!