Last week, we looked into how being Captain Obvious was making your dating profile ho-hum and boring (and ultimately, making you seem not worthy of attention or emails).
Today, we delve into more men’s match.com profiles to show a totally different epidemic: guys who are on dating sites but have profiles that make it seem like they really don’t care if they get a girlfriend.
Remember, these are quotes from the profiles of guys who are looking for a geek girl like me – a late 20s/early 30s, educated, professional woman.
“I like the idea of a girlfriend, but not the work involved in getting (or keeping) one.”
- “tell u later” <– for just about every question
- “just checking this site out…see what kind of women are in here..”
- “I am not sure who I want to meet here.”
- “I’ll have to update this later…” <– he signed up 3 months ago, when is “later?”
“That guy” likes the idea of raking in the women, but not enough to put in the work to fill out his profile or articulate what he wants. To the ladies, this says, “I’m hoping my picture is hot enough that I won’t need to say much.”
“I can’t communicate well…”
- “Well it is really hard to describe myself..”
- “Let’s see what I can say about myself…”
- “It says I have to write 200 characters, so…”
- “I was lazy and didn’t write much, but luv to hear from ya”
- “I am running out of things to say about myself”
Lines like these are kryptonite to women, especially those of us who have been in a relationship with a guy who didn’t express his thoughts and feelings until it was too late.
You may think that you’re being shy or that people will forgive you for not being able to write a profile, but you’re wrong. Unless you’re White Court Vampire hot or John Marcone rich, you’ll get skipped over. Your emails will get ignored and deleted.
What’s A Guy To Do?
Fill out your profile!
Now, the myth here is that you need to fill out every single text area of your profile with a paragraph. Actually, you don’t. Guys can get away with a profile of as few as 250 words, as long as they’re the right words. Be clear about who you are, what you value, what your passions are, and the type of person you’d like to meet. Delete anything that looks remotely like the sentences I listed above. Then you’ll be on the right track for sending the message: “I’m here and I’m ready for you!”
Happy dating, geek friends.
This post was originally published on 15 March 2008. It’s been extensively edited and updated, just for you. Enjoy!