Guys: Put Your Cock(iness) Away, It Has No Place In Your Dating Profile

Made ya click.

We’ve been talking lately about things that are the death of a geek guy’s dating profile. Things like being Captain Obvious or accidentally sending the message that you don’t want a girlfriend. But what if you swing the pendulum too far the other way? What if you get… cocky?

We delve into more men’s match.com profiles. Remember, these are quotes from the profiles of guys who are looking for a geek girl like me – a late 20s/early 30s, educated, professional woman.

Obnoxious Horn-Tooting

There is a fine line between touting your strengths and tooting your own horn so loud that we want to smack you into next Tuesday.

Tooting about self worth related to the type of women on match.com:

  • “When it comes to women appearance is important…”

Are you so hot that you can dictate exactly what your girl should look like?

  • “Okay, let me start this off with a little something to save us both time…if your profile says anything along the lines of “princess” or “excuisite” then go ahead and move on to the next profile.”

Now, I agree with that statement wholeheartedly. However, this is something you shouldn’t state directly in your profile. It’s just rude. The time to weed out the princesses is when (and if!) they email you.

  • “Normal Guy looking to Meet a Nice Girl , can’t believe I am on here”

What does this say? “I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here. This is my last resort.” Wow, I feel so good about emailing you now.

Tooting about self directly:

  • “I am a very athletic, intelligent and very handsome professional.”

“Athletic” – tell us what kind of athlete. I mean, they play Scrabble on ESPN these days.

“Intelligent” – We will be able to gauge intelligence by how you write, what you read, or the type of job you do.

“Very Handsome” – Gag me. If you have a picture (and this one did) do you NEED to tell me that you’re very handsome? Is that just in case I don’t notice?

  • “To know me is to LOVE ME!”

ORLY? Let us decide that after we meet you. For now that makes you seem either cocky or desperate for attention.

  • “ME: Tall, Dark & still Handsome! :) Good sense of HUMOR (Love to Laugh and make YOU laugh as well), Spiritually, easy-going, spontaneous, kind hearted, Romantic (not using this word lightly, but only the lucky one will find out MY definition of Romance (?what’s yours?), patient, a good dancer, a giver, honest & last but not least, spiritually contented.Charities.”

Not only is this so poorly written that it’s barely readable, it has a laundry list of adjectives. Oh, and a noun at the end that implies he donates to good causes.

  • Headline: I have a very large….
  • Body of profile: I have a very large heart! What a dirty mind you have!

Two no-nos there, one  being an extremely obvious innuendo and two, really? Let’s not bring any references to your… rooster into your profile. You know what the average geek girl does with a profile full of innuendo? We laugh at you and then move on to someone who can make smarter jokes.

  • I am very funny and there is no way that my date will be bored of my presence.

I am so relieved! Please sir, entertain me with your amazing sense of humor. (The rest of his profile – not at all funny.)

  • I’m well read, well traveled, well educated, and well mannered. I’m not overly arrogant…

Is any arrogance a good thing?

  • Most people say I’m witty and a lot of them don’t get my sarcasm… Perhaps I’m just too…clever!

Perhaps nobody laughs because you’re not funny. Again, the rest of his profile… not at all funny.

  • I get my spa manicures and spa pedicures.

This is generally not something you want to advertise. If it comes up later, once we know you, that’s fine. But it’s a tad odd to imagine you soaking your feet at the Pretty Nails Spa…

How Do I Fix My Dating Profile?

Again, the cockiness is something that can be found and rewritten in a way that is less cocky.  You can brag about your awesome job, but do it in a way that is interesting and fun, rather than making it seem that you’re a god among men. You can talk about your level of fitness, but in a way that shows how you enjoy your active lifestyle, rather than listing off the weights you can pick up and put down. There are even ways to allude to the fact that you’re stinkin’ rich without having to say it directly. It just takes a few minutes of time and a few edits to make your profile shine for the right reasons.

Confused on how to make all of these things work for you? I will be glad to help you sort out your profile so it gets the right kind of attention. Check out some of our services here.

Happy Dating, Geek Friends!

This post was originally published on 16 March 2008. It’s been extensively edited and updated, just for you. Enjoy!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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