So you hear your sibling, or your co-worker, or your friend, is pregnant. And one way or another – whether it’s a baby shower, or a welcome-back party, or a meet-and-greet, you’re going to give a present. Maybe, depending on the relationship of the gestating one, you’ll actually be getting to know the baby. You’ll be cool Aunt Brittany or awesome Uncle Chris.
What?! you may be saying to yourself. I don’t know anything about babies! The last time I held a baby was when I… no wait, I’ve never held a baby. And the last time I was around a pregnant person they were talking about WEARING it and I am clearly out of the loop. What am I supposed to give a baby?
You’re in luck, because Aunt J is here to the rescue. Growing up, I had my much-younger-sister to help with; when I got older, I got some awesome nieces and nephews. I am very near an expert on buying things for other people’s children. There are major perks to this, trust me.
For one thing, because you’re not the parent, you’re automatically more fun, and anything you buy carries bonus points. For another, you can slowly turn the child into a full-fledged geekling – because let me tell you, there are all sorts of crazy cool toys available now, for all ages and geek flavors. Just find the category that applies to the geekling in question!
For the Crunchy Baby
No, I don’t mean baby that tastes good with ranch dressing or dipped in a Frosty; there are words that I could be throwing around here like “Montessori” but really I mean the baby whose parents have guidelines such as, no licensed characters, or no plastic, loud, flashy toys. If you hear that chances are your mind will go blank and you’ll think But all I ever played with was loud, flashy, plastic toys! But it’s easy, I promise. The key word here is wood. Anything wood is probably golden. Er, wooden. Here are a few options:
Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks – They’re as educational as any normal set of wooden blocks, but incredibly detailed and awesome illustrations (‘D’ is for ‘Dirigible’). And the fact that there’s only five blocks means the parents won’t get uptight about overwhelming overstimulation.
Melissa & Doug Wooden Sushi – Almost all parents – not just the crunchy ones – seem to really love this Melissa & Doug stuff. This sushi set is made of wood and velcro, so the toddler can roll their own sushi and then chop through the velcro with the included wooden cleaver. There’s just something hilarious about babies and sushi, but there’s a fruit set in case the parents are vegan too, sheesh.
For the Hipster Baby
This baby has hipster parents. You figure a PBR shirt is a little inappropriate – or is it? Irony is the name of the game here.
Cuter Than Baby Jesus Onesie - The parents will think it’s funny, and not-so-deep-down they’ll probably believe it. If you don’t want to be THAT edgy, any onesie with a mustache on it will do. Why yes, I know I’ve done posts with mustache merch before. I never said I wasn’t a little bit hipster.
My First Bacon Talking Plush – It says “I’m Bacon!” when you squeeze it. Why? Dude, if you have to ask…
For (the) Science! (Baby)
Moon in My Room – My family actually owns two of these; my mother purchased the first years ago (I swear it was National Geographic brand back then) to keep in the room for her grandchildren, and I bought the second last winter for my nephews’ own room. It’s a thin piece of curved molded plastic, like the surface of the moon; a little remote lets you flip through the moon phases and set it on your favorite. So much better than a nightlight.
LadyBeez Lab Geek BeezLegz – In the last few years, you’ll be happy to learn, trendy patterened legwarmers have all but replaced tights on baby girls. If this doesn’t fill you with joy, maybe you weren’t jammed into tights as a little girl or, heck, into pantyhose as an adult woman. Anyway, legwarmers are cute on baby boys, too, not to mention functional, and they don’t get in the way of that whole diaper thing. This set features beakers and symbols and makes science altogether cozy.
For the (Couch) Tater Tot
Not all parents ban their children from television; in fact, some can’t wait to share the TV and movies they grew up on. However, it’s important not to stay entirely in the past, so that the kid will be able to relate to others on the playground (the ones who might not have grown up watching The Real Ghostbusters, say). Thus, here’s a Greatest Hit, as well as the one that’s tearing up the charts today.
Little Star Wars Costumes – Because slapping some Yoda ears or Leia buns on a baby will never get old.
Yo Gabba Gabba Brobee Cuddle Pillow – I have never seen this show beyond clips on The Soup. I do not pretend to understand it. But every little kid under the age of 5 seems to agree it’s all kinds of awesome.
What about you? What are some of your favorite gifts for geeklings?