As you undoubtedly already know, here at Geek’s Dream Girl we’re all fans of geek guys. I don’t think I’ve ever dated a guy who couldn’t be called a geek guy, actually. However, it’s also no secret that some can be a little, well, awkward. There’s an internal filter that we can all access; some naturally use it depending on the situation, while others need to be reminded that it even exists. So I began to wonder: even if you’re on a date with a proud nerd girl like myself, are there actually entire topics of conversation that should be avoided, particularly on the first date?
Over the coming months I’ll bring up a few issues that I’ve seen crop up in real life, whether on dates or while helping clients. Let me be clear: this isn’t about geek-bashing, but I might get blunt. Also, I’m only one girl, so this isn’t even necessarily the opinion of the entire staff of GDG. With that said, let’s move on to this week’s topic: weapons.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning
Call me a wimp, a tree-hugger, whatever you like, but when I first meet a guy (or read his profile, for that matter) the last thing I want to hear about is his extensive collection of guns. Or knives, explosives, alien weapons, swords, or even brass knuckles.
Logically, I get the appeal of collecting weapons. They can be shiny, complicated, historically accurate; they might make pew-pew noises. They can make even the smallest girl feel strong and powerful. A collection speaks to time, effort and money spent. I can admire the dedication behind such a collection, once I know you’re not planning on using them on me.
Because here’s the thing: when guys go on enthusiastically about their collection of pointy and shooty things, it can feel threatening. It can feel aggressive. Maybe girls are socially trained to be more wary about putting themselves in vulnerable situations, but if I’m sitting across from a guy who’s already bigger and stronger than I am and he starts talking about his “blades” with a gleam in his eye, I’m going to be paying attention to the location of the nearest exits.
Speaking of exit strategy: I think, somewhere in a dark corner of our brain, many girls analyze a break-up situation. What if I choose to decline a second date? Would he take it gracefully? Would he move on without a second thought? Would he break out his “blades”…?
I also think that in this case, quantity makes a difference. I saw a profile of a guy who has a replica of a sword from World of Warcraft – and when I read that, being a World of Warcraft fan, I thought it was pretty neat. It’s when I hear that a guy has converted his basement into a replica medieval torture dungeon that I get a little nervous.
Now, don’t get me wrong: the right person will love you no matter what you collect, be it replicas of video game swords or model trains. This is intended as a heads-up. Most guys probably don’t think of their love of weapons as intimidating or scary, just as they might not realize that their sheer size might make them intimidating to some women. Well, consider yourself warned: the image of yourself and a roomful of guns might not bring about warm fuzzies in the heart of your potential match.
Alternatively, if your collection is such a part of you that omitting it would be omitting half of you, make this common interest a priority in your search. There are certainly women out there who would get as much of a kick out of your Wall o’ Daggers as you do, but be aware that it might take some searching. You might even want to do some field work on the ground instead of on the Internet, by going to shows, stores or conventions. Who knows who you might find?
It’s an unfair fact of life that guys have to worry about just looking intimidating or scary, and women rarely do. The good news is, if you’re aware of it, you’re already ahead of the game. So now you know: keep the armament chat to a minimum until you’re more comfortable with each other.