The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Online Daters (Part 1)



Hello fellow geeks!

I’m sure you’ve probably heard of the (now classic) self-help book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

It’s maybe not the most geeky literature in the world (in fact it’s very mass market) but it’s definitely a game changer in terms of the way we approach ourselves and the people we interact with in our day to day lives.

Though the book and the habits within are generally applied to business contexts, they’re also quite applicable for online daters.

The first three habits relate to your own behavior (which we’ll look at in post). Habits four through six relate to how to interact with others and the seventh habit looks at how you can continue to improve your online dating skills (these will all be discussed in our forthcoming part 2 to this article).

This article will give you a CliffsNotes  version of what the 7 habits of highly effective people are how they can be used to help you master online dating.

 1) Be Proactive

The first habit, being proactive, is about taking responsibility for what happens in your life. It means choosing how you emotionally respond to different situations. Being proactive includes choosing to take steps towards your goals, without blaming others or arguing for your limitations. Reactive people on the other hand, blame external situations or circumstances for their failures and setbacks.

In the realm of online dating, choosing to be proactive means taking initiative to send messages to users you’re interested in. It takes a bit of guts to initiate a conversation and some work to keep it going. Being proactive also means not feeling set back if you don’t receive a response. Present yourself in the best light possible in your profile and don’t include negative information about yourself or others (especially not exes).

2) Begin with the End in Mind

 The second habit is all about your imagination. Take the time to daydream, to madly scribble your ideas in a notebook, to conceptualize what you want before you try to achieve it. In short, before you try to achieve something, you need to create a roadmap on how to get there.

The exercise outlined in my previous post, creating a dating wish list is a great example of beginning with the end in mind. Getting crystal clear about the type of relationship and partner you’re seeking will help you immensely in your quest to find love online. If you are looking for a long term relationship, make that clear in what you write. If your heart and mind are looking for something less serious or shorter term, your profile should also reflect that.

Don’t forget that at least one section of your profile should always include a detailed description of the types of people you’d like to meet. Be as specific as possible with what you’re looking for, but be prepared to be flexible about superficial aspects like if a potential partner is a Marvel fan and you’re more of a DC lover.

 3) Put First Things First

The third habit of highly effective people is the ability to prioritize. Habit one emphasizes that you’re in control of your life and habit two addresses the ability to create plans. The third habit, the ability to prioritize and put first things first, means learning to manage the various roles, responsibilities and projects in your life in an effective manner. Become more organized also involves moving items that help you realize the goals to the top of your priorities list.

For the highly effective online dater, prioritizing takes several forms. For example, it can mean making sure you only spend time communicating with people you are legitimately interested in. Or if you have a busy calendar because of work or school (or other important projects), prioritizing could mean telling the people you’re interested in dating how much time to you have to devote to them.

Alternatively, prioritizing could mean if you’re seeing multiple people, deciding who you think you’re most compatible with and focusing just on seeing them. Overall, putting first things first is about being selective in your pursuits and how you choose to spend your valuable time and energy.

To be continued… (Part 2  coming soon – where we’ll examine habits 4-7). 

Have you read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? What do you think of it? Are there any other ways it could be applied to online dating? As always, we want to know what you think. Leave your comments below!

If you need some extra help applying these principles to your online dating strategy, don’t forget that we’re always here to help you achieve epic wins in the realm of geek dating.  Read more about our services.

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