EBook: A Geek’s Guide to Leveling Up Your Online Dating Game

It’s finally here! You’ve been asking me to put all of my geek dating advice, tips, and tricks into a single, easy-to-grok package and I listened.


You Geek, They Grok: A Geek’s Guide to Leveling Up Your Online Dating Game. It’s my goal that this ebook is the last you’ll ever need when it comes to achieving success as a geek single. I’ve helped hundreds of geeks improve their online image, be more confident, and most importantly, get that special someone into their life. I know I can help you, too.

A sample of You Geek, They Grok (read by Jen Davis) Listen to a quick excerpt of You Geek, They Grok (read by Jen Davis).

Check Out Everything You’ll Learn!

Chapter 1: Online Dating 101

If you’re brand new to online dating, this first chapter will give you the basics to get you started – online dating vocabulary, choosing a dating site, paid vs. free sites, regular vs. geek dating sites, and more. If you’ve done online dating before, you may still want to give it a quick read – you never know when you’ll learn something new!

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…that you don’t have to ditch the hobbies you love just to get in a relationship.

…the basics to get started if you’ve never tried online dating before.

…how to choose a dating site

…how to spot a geek dating site that’s a scam (AKA not what it seems!)

…why you should use a geek dating site… and why you shouldn’t.

…a little known fact about one of the biggest Christian dating sites.

…whether paid or free sites get more results.

Chapter 2: The Curse of Knowledge (save ends) & The Chasm of SuckitudeTM

Every good adventure starts out with some drama, so I’m going to start with the curse that you’re suffering from (did you even know?) and the gaping chasm that you may fall in while trying to make your dating profile more attractive.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…about the curse that’s making anything you write about yourself not nearly as awesome as it should be. (Oh, and how you can get a +2 to your saving roll!)

…the one detail in my Match.com profile that got me tons of emails. (Hint: It’s related to groceries.)

…why completely de-geeking your profile is the worst mistake you could make.

…how to write about your geeky interests in a way that attracts even non-geeks.

I could hardly sit still when I read the section on The Curse of Knowledge. YES! This is the problem that almost everyone suffers from, ESPECIALLY geeks, and… holy cow… she completely explains how to lift the curse in just a few short pages! In my opinion, this is the #1 problem in the geek dating world, so I’m confident (with p<.05) that you’ll be able to increase your likelihood of dating success just by implementing this one tip in Chapter 2.


- Pace Smith connection-revolution.com champion Zendo player

Chapter 3: Profiles that Stick: Your Personal Marketing Campaign

Your online dating profile is a mini-marketing campaign and the product is YOU. Since I work as a professional copywriter and a dating profile writer, I know a lot about how to make things (and people) look irresistible.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…the six marketing principles that you can use to reel in the dates.

Chapter 4: Three Steps to a Great Profile

[If you only read ONE CHAPTER of this ebook, this is the one to read!!]

The best dating profile is one that is magnetic. It draws the reader in from the start and holds them there all the way to the end. When the reader reaches the end, they want nothing more than to contact you. Doesn’t that sound great? Stick with me through the next chapter and you’ll have the bones of a magnetic dating profile of your very own.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…the three steps that will get you from a blank page to a new dating profile in 20 minutes.

…how to write about your match in a way that will get them smiling, nodding, and emailing!

…the one thing many singles forget to include in their profile (and why it costs them in emails and dates!)

…10 questions that will spark your writing juices and get your profile filled in no time!

…the things you should never, ever, ever write about in your profile.

E. Foley speaks our language. demystifies the strange frontier of online dating for many geeks. It’s a great read not just for the stereotypical ever-single geek, but for folks looking to broaden their social circles, recent divorcées, and anyone who needs a +2 flanking bonus against a dateless Friday night.

- Ryan Macklin Lead Product Developer, The Dresden Files RPG ryanmacklin.com

Chapter 5: A Picture Is Worth A Million Pixels

Dating profiles with pictures get significantly more clicks and emails than those without pictures. Dating profiles with good pictures get significantly more clicks and emails than those with bad pictures. Along with your headline and username, your pictures are part of your first impression. Are you putting your best face forward? This chapter will teach you how to take and select pictures that get maximum results.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…how to take and select pictures that get clicks, emails, and dates.

…how to get emails and dates if you can’t post pictures on your profile.

…the camera tricks people play in profiles (and why you shouldn’t play them).

…how to get awesome pictures of yourself when you’re painfully camera-shy.

Chapter 6: A Geek By Any Other Screenname…

Your screenname is part of the trifecta of first impressions for your profile. It amazes me when people work so hard on the rest of their profile only to be Joe1972. In this chapter, you’ll learn about commonly used screennames, reason for and against using your regular handle, and the Gamma World method of screenname creation.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…the Gamma World method of creating an amazing new screenname.

…why using your regular screenname could work for you (or against you).

Chapter 7: Hot Headlines that Get Clicked

A potential match sees three things about your profile that contribute to their desire to click on you or pass you by: your picture (Chapter 5), your username (Chapter 6), and your headline. If you’re using a headline like the ones below, you’re missing out on an opportunity. This chapter will give you some quick & dirty tips to come up with a headline that reels in those mouse clicks!

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…all the tired and used headlines (so you know which ones NOT to use).

…how to turn a boring headline up to 11 and make it awesome and click-worthy.

…how to tie a great headline into your great profile and make both even stronger.

…the best places to steal clickable headlines.

E. Foley’s book, “You Geek, They Grok” provides valuable tips for singles looking for love online. Whether you’re a geek or just hoping to increase your chances on the Internet, this simple and easy-to-follow guide is a great companion as you navigate the digital stream of online dating profiles.

- Julie Spira Bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online CyberDatingExpert.com

Chapter 8: Geek Singles Aren’t Hard To Find: No Unicorns Here!

All the prep work for presenting you in your best light is done. Huzzah! You’ve selected a unique username, written a catchy headline, pasted your magnetic profile into the appropriate fields of your dating site, and uploaded your best pictures. In this chapter, you’ll learn how to set up custom searches that cut your online dating “work” time down to just a few minute a day, including how to find the very people who want to hear from you the most!

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…where all the geek singles are hiding and how to find them.

…a way to set up your custom searches so you spend less time on your dating site and more time living your life (and going on dates).

…the sneaky trick that helps you find more people with your special interests.

Chapter 9: First Contact Emails

For my clients, I’ve found that emails are the most stressful thing after writing a good profile. In this chapter, you’ll learn why winks send the wrong message 99% of the time, tip & tricks to increase your rate of replies, common emailing mistakes, how to write a cut-n-paste email that is anything but cookie cutter, and how to manage your online dating inbox.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…the feature on your dating site that causes more harm than good.

…10 first contact email mistakes to avoid (and they’ll help you write better cover letters for jobs, too).

…how to write a cut-n-paste email that looks anything but cookie cutter.

…the subject line that kills your first contact email before it’s opened.

I’m so glad you sent me a copy of your book to review. Not only do I think this book will help single geeks find love, it may also help them find a job, get more Twitter followers and even be a better person. The copywriting strategies you explore for helping people put their best face forward (and finding the best within themselves) are valuable not just in dating, but in life in general. Interacting with people and making it easy for them to like you for who you are is one of the best skills anyone can acquire. Fantastic writing! I embarrassed myself at a coffee shop laughing so hard at, “icing on the sex cake.” Well said.

- Darya Pino, PhD Scientist & food geek SummerTomato.com and Huffington Post

Chapter 10: First Dates are FUN, Not Scary!

I remember the very first date I went on with someone I met from an online dating site. Against all safety recommendations – I was young & stupid, don’t try this at home! – I had the guy pick me up at my place and then we drove to the local coffee shop. I stood by my window, watching the driveway, quaking in my boots. “People go out for coffee all the time,” I repeated to myself. “This guy isn’t an axe murderer.” Luckily, I was right. We ended up dating for two years and are still friends to this day.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…how to make first dates fun, not stressful!

…the one thing a guy should never, ever wear on a first date.

…the exercise that will calm even the most frazzled nerves in under a minute.

…how to project the right message with your body language.

…how to read your date’s body language to know whether they’re into you.

…the key to knowing whether a goodnight kiss would be welcomed.

…the way to bail out of a sinking date.

…how to set the stage for a second date (and it’s not when you think it is).

Chapter 11: Sticky Situations & Safety

Online dating – and dating in general! – is full of etiquette, unspoken rules, and just plain ol’ interesting situations. If you are new to the scene or returning after being off the market for some time, it can seem confusing. In this chapter, you’ll find a list of frequently asked questions about various sticky situations in dating, as well as general guidelines on online dating safety.

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…inbox and potential date management (because you may have the problem of too many dates!).

…how to date more than one person (yes, you can do it and no, it doesn’t make you a horrible person).

…when you should take down your dating profile.

…the do’s and don’ts of gift giving when in the early stages of dating.

…how to protect your identity and your heart while online dating.

…how to spot a fake profile or a scam email.

Chapter 12: Troubleshooting: Regroup, Rinse, Repeat, ROCK!

Online dating isn’t easy street. Sometimes you feel like you’re doing everything right, but you’re not getting results. In this chapter, you’ll learn how to take an autopsy of your current online dating strategy, embrace a better you, tweak your expectations (for the better!), slice off the parts of your psyche that are dragging you down, and increase your luck factor. You ready to regroup, rinse, repeat, and rock this time around?

In this chapter, you’ll learn:

…why being fat/geeky/atheist/virgin/short/divorced isn’t what is keeping you from dating.

…how to troubleshoot an ailing dating life and work out all the bugs.

…how to increase your WIS and get lucky in love.

When I first met E, I was in a terrible place. Recently divorced, I found myself feeling alone and uncertain of my future. Once, I had thought my ex and I were meant to be together. After the divorce, I was left feeling unsure, like I couldn’t even trust my own judgment in a relationship. Match, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and even other local sites were all on my list. I tried them all. In the end, it was finding E that helped me find my “One.” E was quick to realize my situation and helped me see where I was lacking and what I had. Finally, I met Robin and we hit it off immediately. E was right behind me, coaching me and helping me find the confidence I needed to take a chance. I always placed trust in her advice and it always worked! Now, two years later, Robin and I are happy, married and buying a house together! Sometimes I joke and say she’s Cupid’s disciple. If you really think about it, she might just be…

- Erika, former client, Stargate fangirl

Sound Good?

You Geek, They Grok is available for instant download as a PDF. Read it anywhere you can read PDFs. It looks pretty swanky on an iPad or on a regular ol’ computering device. The price for all these amazing and useful tips that will transform your dating life? $15. Three reasons why that’s a steal?

  • If a tip from this ebook saves you one month of membership on a paid dating site, it’s paid for itself.
  • If a tip from this ebook prevents you from wasting money on a bad first date, it’s paid for itself.
  • If a tip from this ebook keeps you from forking over cash for a scam dating site, it’s paid for itself.

$15. Go on, give it a shot and I promise it’ll be well worth it.

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I’m here to help my people, my fellow geeks, improve their dating lives, and find the relationship that makes them happiest. If you feel that you haven’t learned useful information by reading this ebook, please contact me within 60 days of purchase and I will issue you a refund of your purchase price, no questions asked.

A Note About Gender & Word Choice

This book is for every geek. Straight, gay, bi, transgender, transsexual, monogamous, polyamorous… if it floats your boat, I’m happy to help you achieve that relationship. However, playing the pronoun game throughout this entire ebook would be difficult, if not impossible. I don’t want to sacrifice the quality of the writing to try to catch all the different relationship possibilities out there. Please forgive me for being heteronormative in my pronoun choices. If you’re a male seeking a male, a couple seeking a third, a trans female looking for a male, or anything else – this ebook will help you write a more attractive profile and get you off your dating site and into the arms of the person of your choosing. That being said, this ebook is written from the perspective of a heterosexual cisgender female who has spent several years working with mostly other heterosexual cisgender individuals. If you feel after reading this ebook that it does not meet your needs as a homosexual, bisexual, or transgender person, please contact me and I’ll gladly issue you a refund.

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