You’re probably wondering…
“Is online dating for me?”
“Can I learn to be a successful online dater?”
…or maybe you’re thinking…
“I’m a total geek. Can a geek like me get the girl (or guy)?”
The answer to all of these is a resounding YES! Here’s a quick guide to online dating that you can use as a blueprint to success.
Whether or not your choose to hire us to help with your dating profile, join our geek matchmaking service and get our monthly newsletter, or coach you through the online dating process, we still want you to have the tools to succeed.
1. Be ready.
Know it’s not a last resort.
If you’re not emotionally ready for dating, work on yourself before you jump into the online dating system. If you are depressed, hate yourself, or have anger issues, they’re going to come out in your profile and they’re going to ruin any relationship you start. Love on yourself before you love on others – that’s what I say!
Resources about being in the right frame of mind for online dating:
- Are you undecided about dating online? Fodder for fence-sitters, part one.
- Fodder for fence-sitters, part two. Are you wondering if online dating is for you?
- Fodder for fence-sitters, part three. Are you too old for online dating?
- Who is doing online dating? Fodder for fence-sitters, part four
- A Letter to E: “Your website, your service, it offends me.”
- Why online dating should never be your last resort
- Changing from Jade Glasses to Rose-Colored
- (Some) Geeks are Afraid of Women
- Dear Anon-O-Box: I Just Don’t Care About Dating Anymore
- Male, Female, Other: When Issues of Gender Cause Dating Confusion
- How To Overcome the Fear of Internet Dating
- Tis The Season To Get Desperate, Fa La La La La, La La La La!
2. Take great photos!
Flip through your Facebook and Flickr and find the most recent pictures of yourself – nothing more than a year or two old. As we get older, we get attached to pictures of ourselves that we think look great… but in reality, they don’t look anything like our current appearance. Don’t false advertise in your dating profile – you’ll get more second dates if you’re honest!
Here are some resources on great photos (and what to do if you can’t post photos):
- Tips & Tricks for Great Online Dating Portraits
- The Best Way to Get Great Online Dating Photos If You’re Camera-Shy
- The Not-So-Deadly Sins: Subliminal Messages Your Photo Sends
- Deadly Sins: The Shirtless Guy and The Art of the Self-Portrait
- Deadly Sins: Ladies Man, Drunk Man, Lewd/Rude/Crude Man!
- Deadly Sins: Disembodied Arm, Blurred Out Girl, Blacked Out Friends.
- Ladies, don’t send the wrong message with your online dating profile photos
- Secret Agent Man: How to Survive Online Dating without a Profile Picture
3. Write a great profile.
After your photos catch the eye of that special someone, your words need to close the deal. If your profile doesn’t convince them to email you, they probably won’t. If your profile waves major red flags, it doesn’t matter how attractive you are, they’re going to run the other way!
Here are some resources for writing an awesome profile:
- Showstopper Online Dating Profiles: Getting People to Notice You
- Choosing a Good Online Dating Username is Like Writing a Hit Song
- Describing your body type on an online dating site
- Writing your best profile, part one: strength words
- Writing your best profile, part two: tell a story
- Writing your best profile, part three: describing your match
- Seth Godin, Cat Food, and Your Online Dating Profile
- Turning a Laundry List Into A Great Online Dating Profile
- Are You Commanding Women To Do Your Bidding?
- What A Radio Preacher Can Teach You About Writing A Great Online Dating Profile
- Online Dating for the Devout Atheist, Agnostic, Buddhist, Pagan, Wiccan…
- New Year, New You? Who Goes In Your Dating Profile?
- Online Dating Etiquette 101: Privacy vs. Honesty?
- Online Dating Etiquette 101: Have a Truthful Profile
4. Get Help, Get Critiqued, Edit!
Before your profile goes live, you’ll want to get an honest set of eyes on it. Pick a friend who isn’t afraid to tell you the truth. Or hire us. Either way, you’ll want to be sure you’re sending out all the RIGHT messages and none of the wrong ones.
Here are some resources to help you identify and remove red flags:
- Why Are Girls Not Responding to My Profile? Mabe ur spelin n grammers sux.
- You’re Gonna Be Single AND Your Cat Will Eat Your Dead Body
- Dear Anon-O-Box: Being Open-Minded Scares People Away
- The Pros and Cons of Talking Money In Online Dating Profiles
- Dear Anon-O-Box: There’s a Hole in My Dating History
- Trigger Words: What Sets You Off?
- What Color Flag Are You Waving?
- Childfree by Choice: More Online Dating Tips
- Childfree By Choice: Online Dating Profile Considerations and Conundrums
- Ask e: Tooting your horn without bothering the neighbors.
- Mistakes Geeks Make in Online Dating Profiles: Verbosity!
- Mistakes Guys Make in Online Personal Ads
- The dreaded “M” word in your dating profile isn’t marriage
- Geek’s Dream Girl Profile Makeover Before & Afters
5. Choose your dating site(s).
With so many dating sites to choose from and advertisements on your favorite websites, TV, and radio… how do you go about choosing the best site for you? Consider the following: 1) the size & reputation of the site, 2) the features of the site and 3) the subscription fee (or not!).
Niche sites (like geek dating sites) can be great, but realize you will only be seeing other geeks who 1) know that site exists and 2) have signed up for it. It’s a much smaller pond, but you CAN catch fish there with some luck and patience.
Learn about various dating sites so you can pick the best one for you:
- Why you can’t trust online dating TV commercials
- Why I will always vouch for match.com as the best online dating site
- Niche dating sites: a big fish in a small, small pond
- eHarmony launches site for gay singles, Compatible Partners
- e’s Interviews: Dino Andrade of SoulGeek.com
- Interview with Battlestar Galactica’s Richard Hatch and SoulGeek’s Dino Andrade
- Why PlentyOfFish.com may be the best site for you
- Why eharmony.com may be the best site for you
- Why Match.com may be the best site for you
- A JDate success story – 50 dates for him, 3 for her
- e Interviews Sam Yagan, Co-Founder of OKCupid
- e’s Soapbox: Why OkCupid Is NOT Ok
- For The Faithful: Christian and Jewish Dating Sites
- ChristianCafe.com celebrates 10 years of helping Christians find love
- Christian dating sites ChristianCafe and Single Christian Network merge
- Match.com Launches Free Online Dating Site – DownToEarth.com
- Why you SHOULDN’T use Facebook or Myspace for Online Dating
- Dear Anon-O-Box: I Have Better Luck With Adult Dating Sites… and Not For Sex
6. Set up your custom searches.
Think online dating will take too much time? Trust me, you can do it all in 15 minutes a day if you take an hour on the front end to set up great custom searches.
Resources to learn how to set up great custom searches:
- Finding Your Match on Match.com: Part One, Ignore the Big Stuff.
- Finding Your Match on Match.com: Part Two, The DreamGirl Search
- Finding Your Match on Match.com: Part 3, The Realistic Search
- Finding Your Match on Match.com: Part 4, Keyword Searches… Worth it?
- Finding Your Match on Match.com: Part 5, The Daily Grind
- Geek Keywords: A Different Kind of Search
- Smart Minutes: How to Find Dates in 3/4 Time!
7. Emails, Emails, Emails.
Emails are the part of online dating that seem to cause people the most headaches. What do you write? How long should it be? How many emails can you send one person? What if they don’t reply? What if they DO reply? What if I get an email from someone I don’t like?
Never fear, answers about email are here:
- Writing A First Contact Dating Email Is Like Writing a Cover Letter
- Words With Results: OkCupid Gives Us First-Contact Facts
- Writing a great first contact email
- Don’t Cut-N-Paste Emails
- It Was Trash From First Hello: Fix Your Dating Email Subject Lines
- First Contact Emails: Don’t Thunder Toward The Castle At Full Speed
- Things you may not know about online dating: your timestamp matters
- Why Do Women Have Online Dating Profiles If They’re Not Going to Reply To Emails?
- Match.com Mysteries: Why Do The Ladies Ask You To Email Them And Then Not Respond?
- Top 10 Reasons Why She Doesn’t Respond to Your Email
- Email Etiquette: To write or not to write?
- Online Dating Etiquette 101: Do You HAVE to Write Back?
- Online Dating Etiquette 101: If you don’t have somethin’ nice to say…
- Emailing Women On Dating Sites: Can You Send a Second Email?
- Dear Anon-O-Box: I’d Like A Woman To Email ME For Once!
- Dear Anon-O-Box: Dating Emails Questions Extravaganza
- How Would Online Dating Change If You HAD To Write a “No Thanks” Email?
8. If necessary, perform an autopsy.
Sometimes, it happens to great geeks. You’ve been trying and trying but getting zero results. It’s time to take a good long look at your profile and your online dating strategy and figure out what needs changing.
Here are some things to ponder:
- Nobody Views My Dating Profile! What Am I Doing Wrong?
- “This doesn’t work!!” – Why online dating is a lot like WeightWatchers
- Why Scoping Out Your Online Dating Competition Is A Good Idea
- Why Scoping Out Your Online Dating Competition Is A Bad Idea
- Dear Anon-O-Box: Hating The First Contact Email Numbers Game
- When “I’m dating someone” is a lie
- Match.com Mysteries: How To Tell If Someone Is A Paying Member
- Why Are Girls Not Responding to My Dating Profile? Mabe ur spelin n grammers sux.
- You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth? Where to Rein In Your Language
- Quick Fix: Does Size Matter?
- Is your online dating profile too vague?
- Even in Online Dating, You Can Clean Up and Get a Second Chance!
- When was the last time YOU freshened up?
- Why Aren’t the Women Beating Down Your Door?
- Top Five Reasons Why Your Dating Profile Gets No Love
9. Do or do not. There is no try.
If you’re looking to be successful in anything, you have to work at it. From freshening up your profile to reflect the new season, to understanding why girls do (and don’t) go for jerks, here’s some advice on how to keep on fighting the good fight.
Check these out:
- Why Online Dating Is “Unfair” and Why You Should Get Over It
- Match.com Online Dating Profile to Reality Translator
- Dear Anon-O-Box: Why Do Girls Go For Jerks?
- Freshen Up With A Summer Headline!
- Quick Fix: Freshen Up With a Winter Headline!
- Quick Fix: Freshen Up With a New Fall Headline!
- Reflecting the Season to Freshen Up Your Online Dating Profile
- What Realtors Can Teach You About Online Dating
- What Las Vegas Can Teach You About Online Dating
- What Twitter Can Teach You About Online Dating
- Dealbreakers: How Much Do They Mean To You?
- Online dating brings out your nasty and mean side
- Dating advice that makes me want to throw up a little: take responsibility, ladies
- Changing from Jade Glasses to Rose-Colored
- Ladies: There are wonderful handsome single men who aren’t getting emailed
- Poll & Comment Fest: Why’d You Quit Online Dating?
10. Get out on dates!
Lucky you, you’ve gotten a date! (If you follow our advice, it will happen.) OMG, DON’T MESS IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!1!one!
Just kidding. Really. Take a deep breath, relax, and plan a low-key and fun outing where you can get to know each other.
Resources on dating in the real world:
- Say no to pixel bondage.
- Dinner and a Movie? Yawn. First Date Ideas That Are Different!
- e Interviews: Beau Frusetta of DateDesigner.com
- Dating with mental illness – what not to say on a first date
- Things you best not mention on a first date
- Match.com members rate the best and worst first date locations
- Is being a virgin a liability in today’s dating scene?
- J’s Soapbox: Online Relationships Are Not Fairy Tales
- First Date Pressure: Don’t Get In Your Own Way
- Geek Movie Lines: A Fun Way to Socialize
- J’s Soapbox: Why The Pick-Up Artist Does More Harm Than Good
- Online Dating Etiquette 101: What If She’s Not Like Her Picture
- Top Ten Things Geeks Can Learn About Dating From Watchmen
- What A Movie Theater Guy Taught Me About Rejection
- Would You Get Rid of Your Pets for a Significant Other?
- Dipping The Pen In The Company Ink
- Don’t Drink and Date – Okay, but don’t drink MUCH.
- When Is The Right Time To Take Down Your Profile?
Because if you don’t, you might cry. Nobody wants to see a crying geek. Besides, you’re so much cuter when you’re smiling!
- Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Date a Geek Girl
- An Adventurer’s Guide to Valentine’s Day Survival
- Top Ten Reasons to Hunt Geeks In Their Natural Habitat
- Survive the recession through online dating, loose morals, and sex
- Excuse Me, Miss. Didn’t I See You In The Monster Manual 2?
- The Nine Dating Alignments: “I’ll marry you because…”
- The Nine Dating Alignments: “I’ll Dump You Because…”
- The Nine Dating Alignments: “I’ll Date You Because…”
- CONTE$T: What If Your Ex Had A Personal Ad?
- Dilbert Says Darwin Favors Geeks: Turn Women On With Your Smarts and Stable Income!
- YouTube Goodies: Love Bytes
- Tales from the Trenches: The Handicapped-Hater
- The Dominant Male Uber Pickup Artist’s Guide To Getting Laid Using Online Dating
- Lindsay Lohan doing online dating with eHarmony
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