“Thanks, but I’m not interested” – How to Respond to Unwanted Messages


When you’ve received a message on a dating site from a person you’re not interested in, what do you do? There’s two basic schools of thought – either ignore the message entirely, or send a polite decline. Is one method better than the other? That comes down to a matter of personal opinion. We’ve included the case for both strategies and how to navigate this territory. No response required You don’t owe anyone on an online dating site a response. Ultimately, the other users on the … [Read more...]

Do You Make These First Contact Message Mistakes?

Find Love

Hello again fellow geeks! This week I wanted to address an issue that many online daters struggle with, sending a great first contact e-mail. It can be intimidating to try to compose a message that catches someone’s attention, but if you try to avoid these common pit falls, you’ll move from online dating n00b to superhero levels of confidence. Below I’ve outlined some of the things you should generally try to avoid when sending a first message to someone on a dating site. Writing too … [Read more...]

How to navigate the online dating scene’s hierarchy of chat


You’ve spent hours looking at profiles on online dating sites and someone catches your eye. After sending off an icebreaker message the conversation seems to going well. When deciding to exchange contact information with this would-be-date, there’s probably a goal of meeting up offline. How you choose to chat with this person is a huge part of the getting to know you game. There are a plethora of communication options available to you, so it’s understandable that you may feel lost about the … [Read more...]

Introductory E-Mail Doesn’t Have to LOL: Adventure to Dice Castle


In this series, we've talked a lot about investigating the company you want to work with, and reviewing what skills you have to offer. Today? I'm going to talk to you about communication. When you're a freelancer, you will need to communicate with people who don't live in your area. That means you're going to chat with them online or via e-mail. Unfortunately, e-mail doesn't always work well to convey emotions. Sure, it'd be easier if we'd take a page from Dork Tower and color-code our text, … [Read more...]

Ladies: Your OkCupid Profile Is A Red Light District

OkCupid Red Light - Replies Selectively

One of the features of OkCupid that is both wonderful and troublesome is the Message lights system. When someone is logged in and looking at your profile, one of three traffic light colors will appear: Green: Replies often Yellow: Replies selectively Red: Replies very selectively As far as I can find out, there is no specific documentation on OkCupid's end explaining the math behind the lights. There's much speculation on the OkCupid forum and in user's journals about the system and … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: These “Nice Guys” Don’t Take No For An Answer


Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight girl with a fairly successful profile, so I get a lot of responses and many of them are from nice guys that just aren't as much my type as others who respond to me. I don't want to lead them on, but I also don't want to be mean when letting them know I'm not interested in them romantically and we don't have enough in common really for me to want to spend time even building a friendship. I know the dating world is hard, so I don't want to be harsh when I … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: I Like Stand-Up Comedy, Not Stand-Up Tragedy


Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight geek girl who is starting to lose hope with online dating. I'm smart, friendly, and relatively good-looking, and I think my profile is pretty solid. The problem: none of the exchanges I've had have turned into dates. Every time a conversation gets to the "let's get coffee" part, the guy fails to respond when I suggest a place to meet - or worse! - I get stood up. I don't think it's a timing thing - I'm not suggesting coffee after just one message, and I'm … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: I’m A Geek Girl With No Emails…


Dear Anon-O-Box, It is mentioned in several places that women on dating sites are inundated with emails and (ugh) winks. I don't seem to suffer from this problem. I get absolutely no response; emails, winks, rotten tomatoes or otherwise. Not even creeps or scammers bother me. I have a picture (it isn't the greatest, but I don't look like a swamp beast), and a passing grasp of the English language. And those are just the basic qualifications! What am I doing wrong? Signed, Single Female … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: How Do I Translate “Woman” To English?


Dear Anon-O-Box, How do I translate "woman"? Specifically, if I get a polite response to my email that answers all my questions but asks none and seems written not to encourage response do I continue or should I just get a clue? - No Speakee This Language Ask the Anon-O-Box your question! Click here. e answers: Dear NSTL, The good news: You got a reply! (That's more than a lot of other guys can say about emails they've sent out.) The bad news: You're not sure if she's just … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: Do I Give These Guys The Time of Day?


Dear Anon-O-Box, So, here's the thing... I just signed up for a major dating site and I've already gotten a few messages, however the brunt of the messages are "hey gorgeous" and "you're pretty, I'm looking for a friend with benefits." Yikes! I know you recommend that online daters take time to respond to every message they receive, but I'd rather not give these guys any attention. It's obvious they haven't read my profile and are just looking for a booty call. What do you recommend doing … [Read more...]