Ladies: Your OkCupid Profile Is A Red Light District

OkCupid Red Light - Replies Selectively

One of the features of OkCupid that is both wonderful and troublesome is the Message lights system. When someone is logged in and looking at your profile, one of three traffic light colors will appear: Green: Replies often Yellow: Replies selectively Red: Replies very selectively As far as I can find out, there is no specific documentation on OkCupid's end explaining the math behind the lights. There's much speculation on the OkCupid forum and in user's journals about the system and … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: These “Nice Guys” Don’t Take No For An Answer


Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight girl with a fairly successful profile, so I get a lot of responses and many of them are from nice guys that just aren't as much my type as others who respond to me. I don't want to lead them on, but I also don't want to be mean when letting them know I'm not interested in them romantically and we don't have enough in common really for me to want to spend time even building a friendship. I know the dating world is hard, so I don't want to be harsh when I … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: I Like Stand-Up Comedy, Not Stand-Up Tragedy


Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight geek girl who is starting to lose hope with online dating. I'm smart, friendly, and relatively good-looking, and I think my profile is pretty solid. The problem: none of the exchanges I've had have turned into dates. Every time a conversation gets to the "let's get coffee" part, the guy fails to respond when I suggest a place to meet - or worse! - I get stood up. I don't think it's a timing thing - I'm not suggesting coffee after just one message, and I'm … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: I’m A Geek Girl With No Emails…


Dear Anon-O-Box, It is mentioned in several places that women on dating sites are inundated with emails and (ugh) winks. I don't seem to suffer from this problem. I get absolutely no response; emails, winks, rotten tomatoes or otherwise. Not even creeps or scammers bother me. I have a picture (it isn't the greatest, but I don't look like a swamp beast), and a passing grasp of the English language. And those are just the basic qualifications! What am I doing wrong? Signed, Single Female … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: Do I Give These Guys The Time of Day?


Dear Anon-O-Box, So, here's the thing... I just signed up for a major dating site and I've already gotten a few messages, however the brunt of the messages are "hey gorgeous" and "you're pretty, I'm looking for a friend with benefits." Yikes! I know you recommend that online daters take time to respond to every message they receive, but I'd rather not give these guys any attention. It's obvious they haven't read my profile and are just looking for a booty call. What do you recommend doing … [Read more...]

Who Wants The Secret To More Replies on


What if I told you there was a surefire way to increase the replies you get to emails you send on by 44%? And that this "trick" could be applied to plenty of other dating sites just as easily with similar results? Don't worry, I haven't gone all sleazy pick-up artist on you. (You know how my lovely assistant J and I feel about those people.) But I am going to tell you a quick and easy way to make your inbox a little more full (or less empty, depending on how your experience has … [Read more...]

Geek’s Dream Girl’s Top 10 Articles of 2010


Your clicks, retweets, and Facebookings have spoken! Here are the top 10 articles of 2010 by traffic: 1. Needles of Knitting +5: Using The Craft Skill To Its Best Advantage 2. GenCon 2010 Update: Castle Ravenloft Board Game 3. Coping With Being Single: Ur Doin’ It Wrong 4. Brainless Act Leads to Smart Decision 5. LiveBlogging: Dungeons & Dragons Experience 2010 (DDXP) 6. Top 5 Anime Speech Patterns that Drive Us Nuts 7. 5 Gosh-Honest Reasons Why Your Dating Life … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: The Black Hole of No Reply


Dear Anon-O-Box, I have been on an online dating site for a couple months now, browsing girls' profiles and messaging a few. A small percentage have replied, and we've been having what I thought were good message conversations going back and forth. But for each exchange, the girl has just failed to reply at some point, ending the conversation. Have they just changed their minds? Did I say something wrong, each time? Are they expecting me to 'double-message' them, to prove that I'm … [Read more...]

5 Dealbreakers You May Be Including in Your First Contact Email


There are plenty of wonderful, meaningful and fascinating things to talk about in an introduction message, your very first contact with some potential love interest, while dating online. There are also topics you don't touch with a ten-foot pole. Fair or not, everyone judges on first impressions, and unlike real life where you can hang around and be stalkerish (not recommended but commonly practiced anyway), you don't get a second chance if that cursor goes to the “delete” button instead of … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: What Does A Scam Email Look Like?

Dear Anon-O-Box, I've been lurking your site for a while, and following you on Twitter; I've come to respect your opinion, and would like to hear your thoughts on something I came across.  I created a free account on, and one of the members on there emailed me.  The first contact (on the site) looked like this: Hello Dear, How are you today?,I hope you are having a nice time, as for me am cool and lonely. Am new to this and most of the guys I read from there profile are not … [Read more...]