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…and go here to listen to my interview with Mark and Mags of the gaming podcast All Games Considered.

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TGIF, and I hope to see some of you at my geek dating events at Origins & GenCon!

J: You’re somebody who teaches seminars and classes on how to communicate more effectively in person.  How do you feel about using the Internet to facilitate relationships?

Richard Hatch: Well, number one, I think we’ve barely touched the potentials of the Internet.  I think it’s a force that can be used for good or bad, but the Internet is connecting all of us; in a sense we’re becoming, “all for one, one for all.”  Through people’s blogs, we’re all stepping into each other’s lives, and being able to see what they go through in a day.

We’re coming together; we’re really in a process of integration, and I think it’s a powerful tool.  If anything, our problem has been that we’ve been too separate, too disconnected from each other, viewing the world from our own little limited viewing landscape, our own particular set of glasses.  Now it’s kind of hard to look at the world through too narrow of a view, because everywhere you look, you’re being forced to look through the eyes of other people, to see their perspective.

I think it’s a powerful tool for bringing people together, which is why I’m involved in [creating] my social network, [which is] also a network like a sci-fi network for programming.  I want a place where people who love sci-fi, fantasy, or whatever else can connect, can hang out, can exchange ideas creatively, upload new story ideas, and basically have a community. And then, ultimately, have programming for new shows.

There’s a lot of people out there now that realize, “Oh my God! I’ve got an idea for a story and I can actually go out and film it!” And there’s no reason you can’t have all that online. And part of connecting, which is what all these social networks are, like Facebook and Twitter and everything else, is that through hanging out, getting to know people, sharing thoughts, ideas, you can possibly find the love of your life or find deeper connections with people.

I think it’s the best thing that ever happened.  I mean, we live in diverse parts of the world, and our lives make us drive down the same freeway every day for work.  And yet, two streets over, there could be the potential love of your life, or best friend of your life, or business partner. It’s waiting to happen, but you’d never know they were there, until you got the internet.

Now the internet kind of opens up that territory, and now you’re able to be part of the larger picture, you’re able to have a stronger connection to your community or to the world – and the community, in this regard, is the world now. You could find the love of your life in China, your business partner in Lithuania – we’re not being facetious anymore. You can visit online, connect online, and then, if you find enough in common, you can move somewhere and join up.

J: Geek’s Dream Girl focuses mainly on the Internet side of finding people, making a first impression online, but eventually people will meet, face-to-face. What is your #1 tip for someone in that situation?

Richard: Well, the first step is that you have an email connection.  Then, you might start to instant message, and if you enjoy the conversation, eventually you move to a phone where you hear each other’s voice.  If, at that point, you’ve really established a connection, a level of commonality, you drive to a coffee shop.  That way, you come in, and you’re not stuck if you don’t like the person; you can have a cup of coffee, and in a few minutes you’re on your way.  You’re not stuck in the same car, on a date.

You know, everything is just one step.  Life is just a series of small steps.  I think the best thing about the internet is that you can take small steps to get to know somebody. And with the technology today, this is going to expand; you’ll be able to video emails, you can see each other, talk to each other, experience each other multiple ways online long before you ever meet in person.

And I think I like that, because I would like to actually, at some point, see [more than a picture] before I go to meet them for coffee.  People do have a tendency, with their pictures, to put up pictures that don’t really reflect who they are.  And the mental connection is one thing, the emotional connection is a another thing, there’s that undefinable connection… But you know, what somebody looks like is part of the equation.

So some people use the anonymity of the internet to kind of perpetrate a fantasy of themselves.  And then when the day comes to meet the person, there’s sheer terror at that fact that now, the truth is going to be revealed:  that you’re not six-foot-six, you’re four-foot-four with four ears and two noses.

The hard part is getting people not to lie, and not to fabricate, not to build a fantasy of what they would like to be.  Unless they just want to live in a digital environment, and essentially play that fantasy, which, you know, why not? If you want to go into a virtual reality, like World of Warcraft, but in this case you can create a whole world that was based on love and relationships – you could have an online community where you could create your own character and have other people, and hang out, get to know, date, get married whatever, just in a virtual environment…  There’s nothing wrong with that.

But, you know, I would hope that all these steps could be steps leading towards a deeper connection with somebody, and not just into a fantasy world.  [A fantasy world] is absolutely wonderful and can be a way to explore your life, the world, all kinds of fantasies you might have… I think all that could be positive.  But ultimately, to complete the equation, I think there needs to be a physical connection.

So working towards that, that’s where mentoring, and coaching, can come in; to help people overcome their shyness and their fears of rejection and to slowly find the courage to be more honest, and present themselves as they are.   In all my workshops around the country, I teach people to learn to love themselves for all their flaws and imperfections, and [teach that] you don’t have to be perfect to be lovable – all these things that are common sense.

Unfortunately, though, we live in a world where we don’t get the foundations from our families, ’cause they’re too busy, they’re too stressed, they’re working too hard…  Whatever the situation is, we don’t have these foundations for building self-worth, self-esteem.  And then you get caught up in your swag, your rep, trying to be cool, which is a big thing right now among kids.

It’s really tragic, in a way, when you realize that what’s really important in life has been squashed, pushed aside for some of the more superficial things.  But, you know, the pendulum swings one way, and ultimately it swings back.  It’s all a process.

J: One of the potentials of the Internet is that with the range of everyone in the world, you can potentially find someone and don’t have to create a fantasy. You can never form those connections if you’re not honest, though.

Richard: Some people are never honest, even with themselves. Because they don’t like themselves, they don’t feel attractive.  Even attractive people don’t feel attractive, because that’s their relationship with themselves, based on growing up in a dysfunctional family or God knows what.  And most people don’t feel comfortable enough to seek help, to go to get into a support group or some kind of counseling.  I don’t know anybody that couldn’t benefit, become a more successful or happier person, from getting the right kind of counseling, and coaching, mentoring and support.

I mean, athletes don’t achieve their greatest results alone.  They need a great coach to take those extra couple of steps.  We all need help, and most people are embarrassed to ask; they don’t have the proper foundation, the understanding, to ask for help – it’s not even in their vocabulary.

So that’s part of why I work with SoulGeek, and teach workshops all over the country; I also teach Tony Robbins life camps, and I teach people to get up and speak in front of rooms. That’s always been a professional hobby of mine.

Communication is what the world’s all about, honestly.  It’s why we go to war.  It’s all about miscommunication, really, because very rarely do we ever truly communicate  in an honest, clear way; we’re always being misunderstood, misread.  I love inspiring people, and I’ve had to walk a very challenging walk in my life, at least up until recently, and I share the wisdom that I learned the hard way, about men, women, and communication.

J: You’re working on a few other projects with SoulGeek, right?

Richard: I’m doing a reality show, called Who the Frak, that goes into Hollywood: the acting, performing, the entertainment industry, the underbelly that most people have never seen.  It also shows a number of my friends that includes all ages – they’re all trying to make it in this business, they all have a journey that they’re on, and they’re all fighting the good fight, having to deal with all their fears and insecurities and dysfunctions.

I like shows that get into the meat and heart of what life is, who we are as human beings, but also shows insights, epiphanies, light at the end of the tunnel.   I’m not one for dark endings that make you feel like cutting your throat when you walk out of the movie theater.  I’m not looking for a goodie-two-shoes movie either, but a movie that really takes me on a journey, shakes me up, makes me laugh, makes me cry, but leaves me with hope.

In my workshops, my thought is, we don’t have enough hope in this world.  Too many people are disconnected, are depressed, are lost in some form of abyss.  SoulGeek is great because it brings together some interesting, intelligent, creative people, who in many ways feel disenfranchised, because of what they love.

People that are not into sci-fi/fantasy, many of them don’t get it, that it’s not just a story that people like, or a character, it’s a whole other something deeper, that maybe you can’t quite explain, but something about great sci-fi, great fantasy, touches us in a very deep way.

J: There’s also sort of a mystique about sci-fi – it seems to be hard for people to get into it.  When shows like Battlestar or even Heroes come out and become popular, I feel like saying, this is what we’ve been trying to tell you about, and there’s much more out there!

Richard: I totally agree, but you know, many people out there are driven by fear.  They’re afraid of the outside world, they’re afraid of anything different, so a UFO or even the thought that there could be life somewhere else, any way of stepping out of the box – they’re programmed, whether by religion or philosophy, they’re terrified of anything that shakes up their world view.  It’s just a fear of the unknown, and there’s a lot of people like that.

I just find that sci-fi people tend to be far more philosophical, far more open-minded, far more creative, and I hate to say it, far more fun to hang out with.

J: I know you’ve been working with SoulGeek, but I haven’t been able to find much information about the sci-fi social network.

Richard: Basically, we were going to expand SoulGeek into a social community, but then, because of economics and because of where Dino is, he wanted to stay focused on the dating aspects of SoulGeek, and at some later portion we could talk about expanding it into something else.

But my greater focus is creating social online networks because communities are becoming the way for all of us to connect to people of like mind.  I’ve always been more focused on the community aspects of it, because for me, I think I meet more people, more interesting people and have more opportunities for connections on facebook than I do on match.com. Because out of meeting people and talking to people, you find connections you never dreamed of; you might not even be looking and someone [else] is not actively looking, and then you find a connection and talk to each other on the phone, and all of a sudden you realize you’re attracted.

J: And it might not be something that you’d list on a profile about yourself.

Richard: Exactly! But at the same time, dating sites do serve a purpose, and they do focus that more small dedicated group of people, people who are actively seeking a partner in a more direct way. And that’s fine, and that’s necessary, and they can be very positive.

That’s why I’m working with SoulGeek, because I like them, and I like what they do, with these gatherings where I can talk to people and share what I’ve been through, all the insights that I’ve learned about relationships, dating, communication.  Plus I’m really good about helping people overcome fear and insecurities because I dealt with it so much in life.

But I love all that and I’m busy creating an online network, online sci-fi/fantasy world. And we’ve gotten a whole bunch of network titles and some things we may use…  we’ve been thinking what would be the best way to call this world, you know? We’re basically laying out the architecture, talking to companies that have all the widgets and all the, everything that they are capable of doing all this.  Plus, [we're] dealing with live videocasting and live conferencing, for doing online sci-fi conventions…  We’re working really hard on putting all of those elements together.

J: One of the things I liked about this idea was that networks are always so cautious about taking on a sci-fi show, but here there would already be demonstrable interest, a built-in fanbase.

Richard:

Yeah, that’s why I want create an online network.  I want to create a place where people can upload shows,  where they can share ideas, do things very inexpensively, and find an audience.   And if the audience finds them, you let the size of the  audience determine, in terms of budget -  For a small audience you can keep it at a small budget and produce episodes for that group of people who love that show.  If more people love that show and are willing to maybe pay five or ten bucks you can actually do it on a higher and higher level.

And it can grow with the success, as opposed to the network model where you take a lot of money, throw it on the wall, and if it doesn’t stick you move on to the next trainwreck.  Without enough time for the audience to even find the show, many shows go down.  Now, on the online version, we would be able to leave shows on much longer.  Star Trek was successful because in the early infancy of syndication, they didn’t have a lot of products and they left Star Trek on even though the audience wasn’t big at the beginning.  But it was on long enough for the audience to find it, and it became a big network success -we’re talking about when it was brought back.

I want to create a new model because the network model does not serve niche markets, and the niche market is a powerful market.  And in this day and age, you want to serve the niche market.  In the interest of serving everybody, you end up serving nobody.  And honestly, people deserve to get what they love!  There’s too many sci-fi and fantasy stories that never get told, either because they felt there’s not enough audience for it, the network executive doesn’t get it…  You know when you’re serving a niche audience, that niche audience can financially support, creating products that networks would never do.

J: And when you have the freedom to create more product, you create better product.

Richard: Exactly right. You can also have more direct contact with your audience.  You can serve them more effectively because you can gather feedback; you can tweak your ideas and you can shape and sculpt what you’re working on to serve the community in a more effective way.   One of the reasons I want to create an online community is because sci-fi/fantasy borrows on the tail end of every other community, but there’s no home for us.  I want to be part of creating a home, for this genre that I love so much.

Many thanks to Richard for taking the time to have a great conversation.  And thanks to Dino Andrade from SoulGeek for thinking of us at GDG!

J: At the end of Battlestar: Galactica they had the Battlestar: Galactica auctions, both live and on the internet.  Did you get to keep anything before the auction, and is there anything that went up for auction that you would have liked to have had?

Richard: Aw, no.  First of all, at that point, I wasn’t sure the show was ending.  Basically, we didn’t get to keep stuff, and also, I usually wore suits that you could wear today.  It wasn’t like I was wearing some costume, you know, a helmet or something I could grab without someone getting upset, so I didn’t take anything.  But obviously a lot of other people did.

J: Tom Zarek wasn’t written or played as a mustache-twirling villain.  Did you know that he would be taking an even darker turn in the last season, and was this planned all along?

Richard Hatch: No, I didn’t know, and it was surprising.  I was hoping that the character would somehow find a way to find some kind of redemption, light at the end of the tunnel; to make a choice that shows that Zarek had grown enough to realize that right or wrong doesn’t really work in this case.

But still, who’s the good guy and the bad guy here?  Maybe you identify more with Roslin, or Adama, or you like them better, but if you really look at Zarek, he was fighting the good fight and he was struggling to make them accountable, he was willing to pay the price for what he believed.

Every writer on the show told me that Ron Moore said to put the truth in Zarek’s mouth.  Whether people wanted to hear it or not, he would always be speaking the truth when he would say things.  So, the point was, that people always thought it was self-serving, but I wanted to see, somehow, some way, where he would get some recognition.

There was a little [recognition] on the show, when Apollo said to his father, “You know, if you get past the attitude, the arrogance, Zarek’s right.”  He actually said that line, although it got lost, I think, in translation.  In essence, I would have liked to have seen some kind of vindication for Zarek, because it was going towards that with Roslin, but never with Adama.

He was willing to die for what he believed, not because he wanted to be a martyr, but because he truly believed that government – that democracy – has to be the rule of the day, and that you can’t conveniently suspend democracy because you feel that you have the right answers.  That’s what a dictatorship is, and I think that Battlestar explored how easy democracy can get lost, and how easy good people can end up doing bad things for supposedly good reasons.  That’s what made Battlestar so extraordinary.

J: I think it also goes to show how easily we’re affected by the way the writers want us to feel.  I mean, part of the reason why we root for Adama is the way the show is presented to us.

Richard: How it’s aspected – I totally agree.   Zarek had every reason to be pissed off and angry at what [Roslin and Adama] were doing – they wanted to operate without accountability because they believed they had all the answers, or they believed they had better answers than anyone else.

It’s ego, it’s self-serving, but the way the show is aspected, it makes us care and support them more than the Zarek character because we don’t get the context or back story for Zarek, to understand where he’s coming from.  We have to surmise where he’s coming from, and in most instances, people would buy into what Adama said or Roslin said, as opposed to actually making up their own mind about Zarek.

There were two valid points about letting the Cylons on board, and remember, the audience has the benefit of the overview whereas the characters are only seeing a limited part of the story.  You [the viewer] get to see it from all angles, watching every character, so you’re making a decision on what’s right or not based on your knowledge.

Zarek and Gaeta can only go by what they’ve experienced in the past, what they’ve seen.  And in reality, the Cylons are so unpredictable, and they’re programmed in such a way, that how in the world can you ever trust anybody that’s killed millions of people?  If you’re a released Cylon drone warrior who’s been programmed to kill, with all of the power and technology that they have on the ship…  They could very easily have decided to wipe out the humans.  The writers could have just as easily gone the other way, where you kill Gaeta and Zarek, and at the end of the show the Cylons turn on the humans.  And then you would’ve gone, “Oh my God! We hated Zarek and Gaeta and what they did… but they were right!”

But anyway, the point is that Battlestar has never been simple and obvious.  It’s something that forces you to think and philosophize and really challenge your own thinking, because there is a tendency in all of us to take sides.  And we took sides even when Roslin and Adama were doing the wrong thing.  To tell you the truth, had they done that within our own human society, we would’ve turned on them.  But because it was a show, we were willing to suspend disbelief, even though they were doing things that really are such a huge violation of our Constitution.

J: The show does present several different viewpoints in leadership, even from the same side, like Adama and Cain.

Richard: Cain was one of the most interesting characters.  And I have to tell you, I think Cain was the stronger leader, because she… cared, but she cared enough about the welfare of the fleet that she put her own personal agendas aside.  She was willing to separate from her own humanity, to make decisions that very few of us could make, that meant some people had to die in order for more people to live.  In those life-and-death situations, not too many leaders are willing to make those choices.  And Adama, over and over again, would go after Roslin or do things that were not in the best interest of the fleet.

How many people do you know that like tough love?  Doing the right thing even though it’s going to cause a lot of pain?  If you don’t correct a problem you’re going to have a nightmare down the line; it’s a hard lesson, but Cain was willing to go the tough love route because she was strong enough.

Adama, constantly, was not willing to make those decisions.  And I love Edward Olmos, and I love the character too, but I gotta tell you, that character bothered me.  I mean, the drinking, so many decisions he was making that were not in the best interest of the fleet, I was thinking, “I don’t know if this is the leader I would want carrying me through a Holocaust.”

J: His relationship with Roslin likely affected his judgement…

Richard: Right, there were so many things!  But you know Edward Olmos, he really was willing to expose all the flaws of the character that the writers were willing to do.  He didn’t have an ego that said “You’ve gotta make me look like the true hero.”  And I really honor that actor and honor Edward’s willingness to create that character.   And again, obviously people love that character in spite of his flaws.

But I wish that they’d had a little more balance, in terms of showing the other side of the equation, from the Zarek point of view of realizing, you may love Edward Olmos and Adama, but in truth, he’s doing some bad things.  And sometimes the person who seems to be the adversary, the rebel, may be right.  Or, well, maybe equally right.

J: I am glad that they added at least a little bit of dimension to Cain later on, in the Razor episode.  If they hadn’t, it would’ve been very one-dimensional.

Richard: Oh, I agree.  I started out hating the Cain character, and I ended up loving her, because I could see that she wasn’t dead inside, she wasn’t inhuman, she actually cared a lot, but my God, the strength – to see somebody strong enough to make that call, that would be almost impossible for anybody else to make.  She was an extraordinary character to me.

I wish that they would have left the character in the show longer; I wish they would have not gotten rid of the Pegasus.  I wish – I always liked the fact that the Pegasus escaped, and you never know if they survived or not, but, at some point they come back into the story, I love that wild card floating around out there, with a different version of Galactica, you know?  A different commander, a different point of view, that comes back in every once in awhile, and causes havoc.  A bit like Star Trek, those characters that have to come back and be a worthy adversary.

But you know, a show like this, so many great characers, the writers can’t possibly give a rich backstory to every person.  But I loved playing Tom Zarek; my only issue would have been, having a little context and back story so that we could understand his motivations a little bit better. But maybe they did it on purpose – maybe they wanted him to remain vague.

J: Well, it gives the viewers more to think and talk about.

Richard: Yeah.  But again, when people come up to you and go, “Oh, I hated you, you deserved to go out the airlock,” it’s hard to say, “Thank you very much!”

Because what I really want to say is, “Well, you know something, I understand you hated me, but let me ask you a question: How would you feel, if this happened to you?  How would you feel, if they said, ‘Oh, we don’t want to listen to you people because we’re smarter and wiser than you. We’re going to make the decisions now, and we’re not going to allow you to interfere.  And if you interfere, we’re going to put you in jail.’”

I’d like to know how people would really feel about that if that happened to them, and I’d like to know, if somebody came up to them and said, “I know you’ve got your job, but we’re going to take it away from you because we have somebody that we decided is better.”  If we did all the things they did [in the show], to people in this life, I’m telling you, you would not like Roslin or Adama very much.  But I would love that discussion.

I actually want to do the final Tom Zarek interview before he gets blown out the airlock, which they didn’t show, on the show.  They had Gaeta talk to Baltar, but you never got to see what Zarek was feeling.  And I always wanted to do the final Zarek interview, you know, a little bit like the David Frost interview with Nixon, where you could understand a little more deeply where he was coming from.

I always wanted to go into that, just because I always felt that some people missed the point.  They took sides, on who they liked more, as opposed to seeing what was really happening there.  And art is not just about entertainment, not about taking sides; it’s about challenging your thinking, seeing things outside the box and expanding your mind, and seeing things from a larger viewpoint.

I’ve got a chance to write some articles, answer some questions, but I do have to pull myself back, because every time someone says, “Oh, I liked you but I was so glad to see you burn!”  I quickly get into this, “Are you kidding me?!” and I have to stop myself.   People feel what they want to feel.  They have the right to feel it, and it’s not my job to wake everybody up and say, “But you’re wrong!”  That just doesn’t work.

Tune in next week for the rest of the interview, where we talk about the Internet, online dating, and Richard’s upcoming projects.

]]> http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2009/08/13/j-interviews-richard-hatch-part-2/feed/ 4 http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2009/08/12/j-interviews-richard-hatch-part-1/ http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2009/08/12/j-interviews-richard-hatch-part-1/#comments Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:28:57 +0000 j http://geeksdreamgirl.com?p=3610 I recently interviewed Richard Hatch of both incarnations of Battlestar: Galactica (thanks to Dino Andrade of SoulGeek!).  I had read a little bit about what Richard was up to lately, and suspected he’d be fun to talk to – and  I wasn’t disappointed.  We covered everything from Battlestar, to online dating, to some of his upcoming projects.  In this first part of the interview, we talk a bit about Galactica, heroes and whether Tom Zarek is one.  

J: I was born in the 80′s, so I missed the original Battlestar: Galactica.  But I saw it recently and I must say, I was pleasantly surprised by the special effects…  It wasn’t some cheesy old show like Lost in Space, like I expected.

Richard Hatch: I totally agree.  Remember, it was done shortly after Star Wars, and the guy who was the special effects guy on Star Wars, was the guy who was the special effects guy on Battlestar – John Dykstra.  And John Dykstra is now doing special effects for movies like Spiderman, so you had top-flight people working on that.  ‘Course, that was back when CGI was just beginning.

J: So when you’re at conventions, do you have many younger fans who have discovered the original series, or are there distinct demographics in the Galactica fanbase?

Richard: Ah, it’s a mixture.  You have people that like both shows, and people that only like the new show. Then you have people who watched the new show first, just watched the old show and really liked it, and then you have people who have watched the old show and think it’s really dated…  It’s across the board; it’s really a mixture of people.  I think as time goes on, you have more and more people who have watched both shows, or at least are aware of both shows.  I’m recognized for both Apollo and Tom Zarek, and it’s kind of interesting to have that kind of a bridge built between the past and the future, you know?

J: And they’re definitely two different shows.

Richard: Two very different shows.  The core story is the same, but obviously today’s show was able to go into the more edgy, provocative, life-and-death storylines in a more powerful way.   All of the characters come off as much more complex, and conflicted – something that they wouldn’t do, or couldn’t do, 30 years ago.

J: You’ve played two very different characters in the two incarnations of Galactica.  What did you enjoy most about playing each character?

Richard: Well, playing Apollo was challenging only because back then they wrote characters black and white, and I liked the fact that he was strong, but sensitive, compassionate and honest.  He had a great deal of integrity, and that’s something that has gotten lost in this day and age – you rarely see a character that has those qualities.

Usually we’re seeing the dark side of most characters these days, and every once in awhile it’s refreshing to see that integrity.  And there are people like that, that really are true blue, those people that you can depend upon, that are honest.

I don’t think that we have enough of those characters today, but back then, the problem was that we didn’t have enough of the other kinds of characters, ones that showed the fact that we’re all flawed and imperfect, and good people are capable of doing bad things under the right conditions.  It’s a more honest look today, but we still need to be reminded that within all of us there is that person, that human being trying to get out, that does have that integrity and that honesty.   It’s those kind of qualities that we would look for if we were going to go into battle, be in a life and death circumstance – you want to find people like that.

But back then, when it was all extreme, all black and white and bad guy and good guy…  I loved playing Apollo, but I was frustrated because I wanted more meat, more conflict, more challenges. Part of what makes great drama is that the character is being challenged to deal with some unresolved part of themselves, and the drama, the heartache, the inspiration comes out of that.

So often back then they just tended to make those characters a little bit one-dimensional, and today, they sometimes go over to the other side of that, where every character is kind of frakked up in some way, every character has some kind of horrible secret and dark side.  But, you know, the pendulum swings one way, it swings the other way, and at some point it will come back to balance. Like how we’ve gone over the edge with CGI and special effects; you’ve got to have a great story and great characters to go along with the CGI and special effects or otherwise you won’t have a great movie.  I think it’s starting to come back to balance in that way too.

J: Tom Zarek is much more morally ambiguous.

Richard: I probably, as an actor, preferred playing Tom Zarek, because this character is far more challenging: complex, multi-layered, conflicted, struggling to deal with his demons and his dark side, and yet, for me, a heroic character.   He stood up against tyranny, insurrection and against a very dictatorial government, and because he was willing to lay his life on the line,  he was willing to pay the price.  Believe it or not, the way I see it, especially through Zarek’s eyes, he was dealing with another government that was breaking all the rules and suspending constitutional rule and democracy.  And even though they were trying to do what they believed was right, Zarek was doing what he believed was right.

[In his back story] he was always against tyranny, and other people backed down and basically tried to hide and get on with their lives.  He saw too many bad things happening, was willing to stand up and do something and paid a huge price for it, and then here he is [on Galactica] in another government situation where he realizes that they don’t play fair.

And, you know, if you were in Zarek’s shoes, you would have every right to be pissed off at Roslin and Adama because they truly screwed him, over and over again.  And I hate to say it, but they didn’t always do the right thing.

In Part 2 of the interview, Richard talks about Zarek’s darker turn, and whether we’d want Adama or Cain leading our fleet.

I was very happy to get an opportunity to speak with Dino Andrade, voice actor and founder of the niche dating site SoulGeek.com.

e.: Tell us a little about your geek cred. What flavor of geek are you?

Dino: Life-long. I was born September 16th, 1963 the very day the original Outer Limits premiered.  I have been in love with works of great imagination all my life with a particular love for animation.  Which is why I chose animation as a profession.  In acting class while everyone was reading Onoel, Ibsen and Shaw, I was the clown reading Batman comics.  I own cels from the original Star trek the Animated series. I stood in line for hours at Disneyland along with Rob Zombie and Greg Nicetero to get a limited edition Haunted Mansion print.  I saw Star Wars in the Theater 27 time when it opened in 1977 – once dressed as a Sandman from Logan’s Run.   I have a Planet of The Apes Trash can from 1974… shall I go on?

e.: Geek cred, check!  So what made you want to launch a geek dating site?

Dino: I wish i could say that it was this happy burst of inspiration but I’m afraid that’s simply not the case.

I am the widower of voice actress Mary Kay Bergman whom we lost in November of 1999.  She and I shared a love of geekdom that was a major part of our lives.   We would go to any number of geek events from Disneyana events to Star Trek Cons (yes, we owned a pair of Starfleet uniforms).  She was the gal who create all the female voice for South Park and performed them in the first three seasons and the movie so we were very close to fantasy entertainment. It was a world we reveled in.

When I lost her I was completely hollowed out. Life was just existence – no real life – for about 5 years.

When I finally decided it was time to reconnect with humanity I started joining dating sites and it was a nightmare. Being a widower was bad enough, adding “geek” status and forget it.  It got to the point that I had two profiles on every site – a geek profile, and a non-geek profile.  In short, I resorted to denying who I was and what I loved just to avoid loneliness.   In the end, I gave up.

Eventually as luck would have it by sheer happenstance I ran into – of all people – my old high school sweetheart whom I hadn’t seen in 26 years.  The spark was still there and we fell for each other all over again – and best of all – she too is a huge geek. I was thrilled to see she owned a set of Kirk, Spock and McCoy figurines on her mantle.

For Father’s Day (I have a daughter – a 21 year old blackbelt!),  Casey (that’s my old high school sweetheart) took me to a Battlestar Galactica music event at the Mint in Los Angeles.  This event was pretty cool because I love film music and most of the band members who did the score for Galactica used to be in the band Oingo Boingo who I used to work for back in the 80′s.

It was at this event that we ran into a gal who saw us hand in hand and commented “I hope I can find a geek of my own here.”  This knocked me for a loop.  This gal was cute, came to Los Angeles from San Diego (it turned out) for a Galactica event – be still my heart! – why was this girl single?  That’s when all the memories of the hell I went through on all those dating sites came flooding back.

I told Casey that somebody should build a massive dating site tailor made for geeks. I searched online but I couldn’t find anything on the scale I wanted. To this Casey said, “Then why don’t you?”

I felt Casey was right so I quite literally took the money my wife left me and began construction of SoulGeek.com which was designed by myself, Casey and my daughter.  In effect, the site is a multi-generational family affair and very much a part of my wife’s legacy.

e.: How many members does SoulGeek have?

Dino: We are right on the edge of 17,000 worldwide and we’re just under two years old.  We began construction in June of 06, and the site made its premier at San Diego Comic-Con July of 07.

e.: Other than the obvious geek bent, what makes this site different than other dating sites?

Dino: First I would say that it is completely geek-centric. Many sites I’ve seen that claim to be for geeks are quite obviously the same cloned software of all the other dating sites just skinned with public domain images of flying saucers and such.

But when you look at profiles it’s all the same questions:

• How much do you make?
• What level of school did you achieve?
• How much do you make?
• What color hair to you have?
• How much do you make?  …etc…

Not SoulGeek!   Our profiles are based entirely on geekdom and you can go on and on about yourself in up to 18 areas of fandom: sci-fi, horror, fantasy, cosplay, animation, conventions, video games, collectibles, anime, webcomics, comic-books, table top RPG’s etc…

e.: (18 area of fandom reminds me of eharmony’s compatibility… hehehe!)

Dino: Yeah…don’t tell those guys!!!   The site was originally coded from the ground up just for the geek to include galleries for fan-art and conpics, there’s fan-fiction. Over a dozen geek forums, almost as many geek oriented chatrooms, we have original webcomics, geek dating tip newsletters, geek news and so on.

In fact in the language section of your profile you can choose both Elvish and Klingon.

Plus I’m in my mid-40′s, my daughter is 21. I bring a very old school geek mentality influenced by Rod Serling, Gene Roddenberry, Ray Bradbury, D&D etc… while my daughter brings an anime, cosplay, MMORPG younger vibe.  In the end, the site has a multi-generational feel as opposed to other sites that tend to only favor the young, hip crowd.   SoulGeek has just as much appeal for the 20 somethings as us old school dudes.

e.: How does membership work? Are there different tiers of membership?

Dino: Membership works no different than all the other security based sites such as Match.com, American Singles, eHarmony, etc… Joining is free and the free membership is all about observation. You can search all the members you want, read all the fan-fic you want, read all the geek news you want, enjoy the webcomics.

You can even submit questions to our gurus.  The gurus are part of a program we have to help geeks who want to get into areas of fantasy entertainment. We have working professional gurus in digital special effect, on-camera acting, voice acting, creating webcomics, graphic art…we even have a geek dating and relationship guru – all free.

But it is our paid level of memberhsip where things really take off. With our uber membership you can compose messages to any member you want, create geek blogs, fan-fic and galleries. You can participate in all the chatrooms and forums. In short uber membership is all about participation. Again the model is the same as say Match.com with one huge exception – the price.

While most of those guys charge upwards of 40 to 60 bucks month, a Soulgeek Uber membership is only $9.95.  So you’re talking about finding the love of your life for less than the price of two tickets to a movie.

e.: Very nice. I’ve noticed that in the sign-up, you give the option to select dating men, dating women, dating both, or non-dating member. Has the bisexual option always been there? (It seems to be absent from many dating sites!)

Dino: Yes, that was planned from the very beginning. What was not planned were the non-dating member options. I was literally sooooooo focused on dating like a man obsessed, that it never occurred to me that anyone would want to become a member just to be on a site like ours. After getting a lot of requests from non-daters we finally went back and coded in non-dating categories.

e.: Do you have any favorite success stories?

Dino: Several, but the very first is that the simple fact that the site is working. Six months after we launched we had no idea if it was working.  That was when I noticed members in the forums talking about throwing a SoulGeek party over Valentines weekend in Las Vegas.

I chimed in as the creator of the site as asked “Hey Guys, mind if I tag along?“  The event was literally put together and executed by SoulGeek members themselves and I had very little to do with it.  When Casey and I got to Vegas we had the shock of our lives. I was greeted by a number of couples who had traveled across the country to thank me for building the site because they had found their significant other on SoulGeek. This was how I learned the site was actually working.

At the gathering, I saw a bank of monitors as Dick’s Bar and Grill where every monitor was tuned to various sports channels except for one that was showing the first season South Park Halloween special which featured my late wife rather prominently. Meeting all those couples and then seeing that was a real ass-kicker. That night back at my hotel room I bawled like a baby – I was very happy.

e.: awww    (I have to admit, I was a little choked up reading that!)

Dino: The event was actually chronicled in webcomic form by one of the couples.  This comic was created by webcomic artist Jennifer Walker who found her love on SoulGeek.  She has since created an original comic for SoulGeek Webcomics entitled “Where the Geek Girls Are.”

Jennifer and her guy Todd are obviously another great success story. We also have at least two couples that are engaged, one married and numerous couple who have traveled huge distances to be with each other.  In particular, one who traveled from Canada to Japan, and one who traveled from the US to Australia.  I think we’re doing a lot of good.

e.: Is there anything else about SoulGeek you’d like to share?

Dino: We’re doing a lot of expanding. Battlestar Galactica star Richard Hatch is about to join the SoulGeek family.  Together Richard and I will be doing a lot of video promotion and such.  Plus we are about to launch monthly SoulGeek bashes in Hollywood. These gathering are slated to begin the second Saturday evening of every month starting in July at the 10 Forward Cafe at Hollywood and Vine.

e.: Very sweet. Do you ever do meetups at conventions?

Dino: People should also visit the SoulGeek booth at this years upcoming San Diego Comic-Con (booth 2517).   After SDCC we will be at DragonCon but for next year we plan to start throwing con parties.  We are about to scrap and relaunch a brand new conventions page so please feel free to send me any info on any upcoming cons.

Mind if I bring up one last thing about SoulGeek?

e.: Go for it

Dino: We have on the payroll a tiny staff and systems admin who monitor the site 24/7. None of the profiles are auto-approved. The profiles are all approved by human eyes, so we can maintain a zero tolerance for spammers, scammers, porn jockeys, and yahoos who try to create profiles that are actually fronts for companies trying to sell you crap you don’t want. In short we do our very best to ensure that each and every profile on SoulGeek is authentic.   SoulGeek is a VERY safe place to find a geek of your own.

e.: I love your passion for geek matchmaking. Nice to see someone like me who is all about the geek love

Dino: The feeling is mutual.  You’re doing the world a lot of good. Think about it. These couples you are helping bring together will like start family and so there will be people in the world all thanks to you. You should be proud of yourself. Cheers to you.

e.: Cheers to you too!  Have a good night!

Dino: You too – Stay Animated!

Thank you to Dino Andrade for taking the time to chat with me about SoulGeek!   If you’d like to learn more about Dino, his voice acting (he’s been in several video and computer games, including WoW’s Lich King expansion), and SoulGeek, check out this interview at Examiner.com.

Do any of you use SoulGeek?  How has your experience been on the site?

The People That You Meet,

When You’re Readin’ All Yer Tweets

I have to say that since immersing myself in the Twitterverse, I’ve met a lot of cool people.   One of these cool people is Beau Frusetta, who is a fellow geek with a pretty awesome website that helps people discover cool date locations in their hometown.

I sat down with Beau to talk about his project, DateDesigner.com.

The Interview

d20DreamGirl: Well, first off, my readers will want to know what makes you a card-carrying geek.

Beau: well – I’ve been doing software development for about 12 years now

Beau: started my career off as a database developer, got deep in to database development and architecture, then broke off in to web development…and its been a blur ever since…if I’m not doing anything, I’m usually hacking away on some other new acronym that is released, like PHP, CSS, HTML, etc, that seems to be coming out on a daily basis…

Beau: I’m a gamer, but I don’t do role playing games – I’m big in to racing games (I have a full on racing/seat/chassis/wheel/pedals)… and I’m big into war games…

Beau: AND – I’m being auctioned off in a “Sweet on Geeks” bachelor auction tomorrow night for charity… Storm trooper suits optional…

Beau: heavily involved in the development community and actively participate in many geek conventions like startup weekend, podcamp, tweet-ups, etc…

Beau: and lastly – my license plate on my truck says it all…WEBN3RD

d20DreamGirl: I’ve always wanted the vanity plate – OMG WTF

d20DreamGirl: but I hear they won’t allow that

Beau: I know a network admin that has HTTP403 on his Lotus – “HTTP/Forbidden” HAHAHAHAH

d20DreamGirl: Nice.   So what makes a geek wake up in the morning and say, “I think I wanna make a website full of date ideas?”

Beau: After my divorce about 4 years ago, I began to date a lot – and lets face it, guys SUCK at coming up with creative ideas most of the time…

Beau: I would search for date ideas online, but they were far too vague

Beau: “walk in the park”, “picnic lunch”, blah blah blah…I needed something SPECIFIC, and oddly, everyone I had talked to wanted something specific as well….

Beau: I figured, why isn’t there a site out there that allows people to find and share date ideas that are specific…a place where people can go and find date ideas that are local to them…and then BAM…the idea came to me to create DateDesigner.com

Beau: I figured I could build a site with a simple concept of finding venues, wrapping those venues up in a “date”, giving the person inputting the information the ability to give it a description, then show that information on a map and make it searchable by location…

Beau: I had the idea for 3 years before I finally pitched it to the right people, GangplankHQ.com, and they put some seed money up and told me to build it in 30 days and they would help with the marketing and any other advice that I needed since my expertise was in web development, not sales/marketing/pr/etc…

Beau: so here I am now, about 6 months after launch, and people are using it!!!

Beau: its all very exciting.. LOL

d20DreamGirl: Seems it! What cities have the most dates right now and which cities are you looking to build up?

Beau: Right now, the metro area that is most popular is Phoenix, AZ, because lets face it, we’re based here, and my immediate reach is within the metro area I live in…but I am looking to immediately branch out to Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, New York, Chicago, and Boston….

Beau: The ultimate plan is to reach as many of the popular metro areas in the country and sprawl out from there…but I’ve got to get a base set of dates in those popular areas first before the sprawl can happen because the users of my site get detracted easily if there isn’t any familiar content…for instance, if you were looking for a date in Winston/Salem, NC, but found something in Charlotte, chances are that you probably have heard of the place and are more likely to stay on the site and put some dates in from around your community…at least that’s what I think…when sites can connect with you like that, I think the likelyhood of a return user is greater…I just have to “prove” that…

d20DreamGirl: So what types of dates can people find on the site?

Beau: People can find romantic dates, fun dates, first dates, adventurous dates, holiday themed dates, etc…basically, I tried to cover the bases with the categories, and a date could fall in to one or more categories and the users are allowed to tag the dates in to multiple categories when building a date to share with everyone else…

d20DreamGirl: If someone signs up to submit dates to your site, will their email address be used for anything else?

Beau: No, we don’t sell email addresses – we only use their email address for login and to send out any updates to the site, which aren’t like some sites that seem like they spam you DAILY…when big updates happen, or if we’re moving in to new territories…I use email to communicate that to my users…because maybe they submitted some feedback and their idea was chosen as one to develop and now their idea is live on the site….definitely want to communicate that out…community is what its all about…and when someone feels like they are a part of something, its always a good thing…unless its a drug ring they are being indicted on or something, then that could be a bad thing… LOL

d20DreamGirl: So is this site 100% free? Any plans on bombarding us with annoying ads or subscription fees?

Beau: there are plans for a small set of ads, because I have to make SOME money on the site, however, for users, the site is 100% free. There are plans in the works for a premium service where if the user wants us to design the date for them, I will charge a small fee and one of my date designers will design a custom date just for them based on a list of interests of all parties attending the date…

Beau: but believe me…I am very anti-ads…and I’m trying to stick with the “less is more” concept as much as possible…I like sites I develop to be super clean and not cluttered, and too many ads definitely is the opposite of that…

d20DreamGirl: Do you ever have any contests or incentives for people to submit their ideas?

Beau: We recently had a “design the best valentine’s day date” contest and the winner received a $100 visa gift card…the other winner for the most active user won a $50 gift card…I’m thinking of doing a most active user contest every month and have bigger contests around different holidays and events that are happening in different markets.

Beau: the definition of most active user would be the person that submits the most dates and comments on the most dates…

Beau: I think I’m going to gear the prizes towards actual venues to get the venues active on the site as well…it’ll be a win win since the venue will be gaining exposure, the site will be getting more users, and the winner will get a free meal to help cover the cost of an awesome date idea they found on DateDesigner.com

d20DreamGirl: That sounds pretty cool.   So what’s been the craziest date idea you’ve seen so far?

Beau: we haven’t had anything too crazy just yet, but there are some really adventurous people out there…there was one date that a user designed for a local news anchor that included waking up way too early (you know, prior to 10am), getting coffee, then hiking, then the spa, then finish off at a nice little cave creek restaurant…I’m not that adventurous, but I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that are!

Final Thoughts

Geek friends, head over to DateDesigner.com and put in your favorite local date locations.   If you’re not quite that bold, comment on some of the dates already posted.   If you’re extra wimpy, just go read.  I’ll forgive you… just this once.

Back in September, I wrote a rant about OkCupid.  I wrote about what made it not “ok” in my eyes:  tiny avatars, irrelevant (though amusing!) tests, journals, and a long, long, long profile.   OKCupid never delivered decent matches for me and since Match always worked, I always went back to it whenever I was single.

Imagine my surprise when I was contacted by a public relations person asking if I’d like an interview with their co-founder, Sam Yagan…

The Interview

1/22/09  5:30 PM EST – 6:32 PM EST via YahooIM.  Edited for readability.

Niceties and What’s e’s Beef?

sam: How are you?  Nice to meet you.  So, we’re not ok?

e: Not okay with me personally, but whatever floats other people’s boats… or sinks their canoe.  Either way!

sam: So, you must have deeper issues than those you wrote about?  I mean, 82×82 vs 80×100?  square vs rectangle picture cropping?

e: Deep seated emotional issues that have torn me to the core!  *cries*
*grin*  I’m a geek. We’re picky people.

sam: well, I don’t know which of us would lose a geeky contest.  I’m pretty geeky.

e: Either way, I polled my friends and readers who have been using the site more than I have and we have some questions.  Some burning, some not-so burning.

sam: Ok, I’d love to hear them!  I also want to start with a bit of a conceptual vision that I have for the site.  I think it will perhaps give my answers context.

Sam’s Vision for OkCupid

sam: Offline dating is a social, group activity.  If you want to go out to pick up guys, you’re going to call up your girlfriends and go out together.  You’d rarely decide to go hunting alone.  Traditional online dating is quite the reverse.   In the 13 years since match.com launched, I’ve never once had a friend ask me to join match with him.  Sure, sometimes I’ll look over his shoulder and look at pictures, but in general traditional dating is a lonely proposition.

So, we said, the match model is wrong.  Dating should not be like a job fair where everyone walks around with an impersonal resume in business attire, nor should it be like a zoo, where you walk through the paths looking at people in their little profile cages.

What if online dating were social, if it had all the context & distractions of a bar or party or workplace — or any real life interaction where you might meet someone new and actually learn something about him or her by observing their interactions, their mannerisms, their subtle clues that are so informative about their personalities.

A lot of the things you seem to really hate have parallels to the real world that provide little golden nuggets of insight.

Airing Dirty Underwear

e: It’s definitely a matter of personal taste whether you prefer the zoo approach or the party approach!  One of my problems is that the okcupid system seems to involve information on your profile that normally you might not share right away.

In essence, you have friends that you tidy your apartment up for, and you have close friends who have seen you at your worst and don’t bat an eye when your underwear is on the floor of your living room.

sam: Let’s dive into this.

e: A lot of the profiles (most of the ones that I encountered) had quite a bit of TMI on them…. (And some of that TMI was as a result of the user-created surveys)

sam: there are three pieces of possible info

1. your open-ended responses — totally in your control
2. your answers to match questions — never revealed unless you say to
3. results to user created tests — appear by default, but deletable.  (Most people know these are NOT scientifically accurate and are all in fun)

If you’re saying that some OkCupid users put TMI in their profile, then:

a) many don’t
b) a bunch of profiles on other sites have TMI too

…so it’s not clear where that gets us.

Social Networking, Dating, and… Ebay?

e: So are you a dating site with a social networking component or a social networking site with a dating component? 50/50?

sam: Neither.  I think social networking and dating are opposite concepts.  Facebook relies on your pre-existing, offline relationships.  Try using FB with no friends.

e: That would be pretty sad

sam: Dating is more like eBay, it relies on having an awesome marketplace with great search/sorting — you’re trying to find someone you don’t even know you’re looking for.  That said, as with the bar analogy I started with, we try to be a fun, engaging, social dating site — we try to model offline dating.

e: So has the community evolved as you originally envisioned it or have there been things that have surprised you?

sam: Well, it’s such an organic, dynamic thing; of course it didn’t go as expected…but I can’t say I’m shocked with where we are.

e’s Failure at OkCupid

e: I did use the site (along with Match, Plenty of Fish, Yahoo, etc etc) at one point, and even though I did a bazillion questions, I found that the people I had the highest match % for were not people I had any interest in….  and some of the people who I found and dated through match that were somewhat compatible were much lower %…. can you fill me in on some of the math behind the matching system?

sam: So you met people?  Or just based on their profiles?  Interesting.  You found their personalities were not what you were looking for?

e: Pretty much!

sam: Well, I dont think any site has figured out chemistry.  So, here’s what I encourage you to do.  Go to OkC and sort your match results by Enemy percentage.  It’s not that the #1 person is best, it’s that we can say you’re more likely to find compatible people in this group over here (over, say, 70% match) rather than over here (say, below 30%)

e: *nods* true, true.

sam: So you had more successful dates on M, Y, and POF than OkC?

e: Match.com has been very good to me.  I have my very own geekboy code monkey

sam: Awesome!  I bet OkC is quite geekier, on average.  Real geeks don’t pay for online dating

e: ha!  You gonna let that go to print?   I can make that the subject line.

sam: sure

Frequent Geek Guy Complaint:  Girls Don’t Reply to Emails

sam: Bring on more questions.  I’m waiting for something worthy of producing such bile.

e: awww

So here’s something that my clients and friends always complain about … and it’s not related just to your site.   It’s something that should you find a way to implement it would make guys (my main audience) very very happy.

sam: ok?

e: Girls don’t reply to emails.   That’s the #1 complaint I hear.    Would there be any way of implementing some sort of reward system for replying to introductory emails? Even if it’s to say “Thanks, no thanks”.

sam: You know why that is on Match, of course

e: The button is there, but not many girls are using it.

sam: And on OkCupid, we do that.
sam: No, the problem is that on match they don’t differentiate the paying vs the non-paying profiles.  So they have 1.3 million subscribers and advertise  15 million profiles.  Let’s be generous and assume that 20% of profiles are subscribers (mostly men).  If you’re a guy and you send 10 messages.  Eight can’t reply without paying; two can of the eight, how many really are going to pay $30 to reply to an email — no matter how awesome the guy is? One?  And of the two who can reply for free — maybe 50% reply? So you send 10 and get 2 responses, which seems crappy, but really is pretty great.

Match wants you to email non-subscribers — why?  Because that’s how people convert. 

e: The odds are against you.  From what my clients are telling me, the email reply ratio isn’t much better on any of the free sites. Which, compared to Plenty of Fish, you guys are gods.

sam: On okcupid you have a “first reply ratio.  You’re scored by that.  You can see how often people reply to first contact attempts.

sam: Well, PoF is in the business of selling leads to the subscription sites.

sam: So, that’s obvious.

e: Good to know, so you can avoid people who tend not to reply back.

For the Childfree

e: One of my readers wanted to know if there was a surefire way to sort for people with no kids (and no interest in kids).  He says he keeps getting women with kids as matches.

sam: Nope.  That tends to come out in the match questions. but that’s not a filter that’s often requested.

e: Interesting.  So it’s just something to click Mandatory on for the questions and hope for the best?

sam: yep

For The Math Geeks

e: For my math geek readers, is there a place somewhere on the site where they can get a glimpse into the math behind the matching system?

sam: http://www.okcupid.com/static?p=faaaq

For The Code Monkeys

e: My programmer geeks have asked me to ask this, so here goes:  Why C++?  (I personally will not understand the answer to this question, but they want to know.)

sam: The average OkCupid user answers 233 match questions.  Now say you want to compute match percentages for you and 10,000 other people, that’s a lot of computation — good luck doing that in some interpreted language.

Free Dating Sites

e: I think that the industry is starting to move towards free dating sites.  Is there anything your team is working on to make okcupid stand out among the options out there?

sam: Well, there are only two sites on the free side that matter right now.  I assume you agree?

e: pretty much.

sam: what would the third even be?

e: Tho I’m sure there will be copycats out there, especially since POF has gotten so much press.

sam: sure

sam: If you asked 10 of your clients to rate their experience using PoF and OkC, what percent would favor each?

e: It’s been about 50/50, depending on the age group.  The younger (under 30s) tend to prefer OkC.

sam: Interesting.  Very different from the data we see in focus groups, but hey, that’s cool.

e: I’m also living in a little niche of geek boys.

sam: So, i think new dating sites will find that it’s very hard to bootstrap and get big.  PoF spends millions in marketing.

e: and their website is awful ;p

sam: You said your clients love it!

e: Some of them do.  I don’t.

sam: And you don’t like us.

e: I just haven’t gotten around to writing a rant on it yet

sam: better hang on to your boy

e: They love the free, hate the look/usability of POF.

sam: ok.  And they hate our look/usability?

e: There are folks who love it, and that’s cool if it works for them.  I’m actually going to be hiring an asst. dreamgirl to write okc and pof profiles for me.

e: Any thoughts on match.com’s new free service, downtoearth?

sam: It validates that free dating is legit.   Let’s see how it grows.

e: With the economy how it is, it’s definitely reassuring to know there are places out there to meet people that are free.  Anything else you’d like to mention to my readers?  Otherwise, I’ll let you get back to things.

sam: I think we got it all.  Dating should be fun.  You shouldn’t have to pay for it.  And the site’s UI shouldn’t make you feel dirty.

e: Thanks for spending time with a lil’ ol’ geek love blogger. 

sam: let me know when you post the next chapter of your your okcupid-hating rant 

e: Hey, I may change my tune.
e: Maybe that’s why I agreed to talk to you

sam: I’ll believe it when I see it!

e: *grin*  You’ll have to wait, I guess!  Have a good weekend.

sam: you too

Post-Interview Thoughts

Sam was definitely on the defensive, but I can’t blame him.  After all, I did kind of skewer his site in September.   To be fair, I did offer advice for people who were using it as their main dating service.   I do profile re-writes for OkCupid users.  They’re not on my black list, just not necessarily preferred.

Getting a chance to talk to Sam was definitely enlightening and I have to say that I will turn a kinder eye to OkCupid in the future.   I still think that my advice applies (steer clear of airing your dirty laundry or taking quizzes that may label you in a way you wouldn’t like to advertise).

However, looking at OkCupid as the online way of encountering someone the way we might in the real world has opened my mind.  While for myself, I prefer the “zoo” of match.com and its profiles in “cages”, I will definitely be keeping OkCupid in mind for my clients who have different needs.

Have I seen the light?  Maybe a little.

Phil has been running the RPG blog, Musings of the Chatty DM, for a little over one year.   e caught up with him and asked him some questions that are certainly on the minds and hearts of everyone.   Okay, maybe not, but she’s sure they’re burning questions in her mind!

e:   When did you first start playing D&D?

I was 9 years old, way back in 1982

e:   Do you play any other RPGs?

I play (as a PC) in a monthly game of Monte Cook‘s World of Darkness. I play a Demon jerk with a superiority complex that’s completely clueless about human society. My friends tell me that this is not much of a stretch for me in terms of role playing.

e:   Describe yourself as if you were an NPC in one of your campaigns.

Enthusiastic, overconfident chatty extrovert, given to taking too many projects at the same time.

e:   Bad Horse is the Thoroughbred of Sin. Who is the Chatty DM?

The Evil Overlord of Crunch (and a closet Fluff aficionado)

e:   What is the status of your application for the Evil League of Evil?

They received it and are watching me. I’m expecting news any day now.

e:   Dice - share or don’t share?

Share… I have so many as I buy a new set whenever I start a new Campaign.

e:   Rolling behind the screen – lie or don’t lie?

I don’t use the screen. However, monsters are known to become more fragile as a fight turns against players.

e:   Do you kill PCs often? (Or do they kill themselves?)

About one character death per year. I expect more with 4e as we learn the system.

e:   If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Slow time so I could do more in a given day.

e:   What’s your favorite color of dragon and why?

Bronze… I always liked the Metallic dragons and I mourn that the Bronze won’t be in 4e. With the core 4e dragons, I’d say the Green Dragon is the coolest.

e:   I hear tell that your regular game is played 80/20 French/English. Can you perhaps give us an example of one of these fantastical linguistic creations?

That would be lost in translation. We mostly speak French but all action, spells, items and such are in English.

Like:

Je prend mon wand of Fireballs et je l’active pour frapper les six Dire Wolves.

e:   What type of player do you enjoy DMing for the most? The least?

I really like Butt Kickers mixed with storytellers but my group has varied tastes and it works fine. I don’t like outliers/instigator players all that much. I keep a good pace and I’m not fond of door kickers and people who take decision without at least telling the rest of the group a bit in advance.

e:   What food is a staple for your gaming group?

Meals: Pizza, Szechuan, Lebanese and Chicken in a Box.

Snacks: Chips

Drinks: Iced Tea, Beer, Wine and Power Drinks

e:   Which makes for a more fun time at the gaming table – excessive booze or excessive caffeine?

Neither. Both tend to crash games.

e:   Since you lost to Yax in the ENnies competition, what are your current plans for world domination?

The World is in Chaos, and I need to rule it.

Who says that I didn’t lose on purpose and that it’s all part of THE PLAN ™.

e:   What’s with the minions thing?

Well, every Overlord needs his minions to help him take over the world.

Seriously though, it’s was a branding experiment in the early days of the blog that I hoped people would find more funny than insulting. I’m not using it actively anymore except to rile overly sensitive blogger minions about it.

BTW, you’re up for your 360 evaluation in 2 weeks.

e:   You throw around the word “trope” a lot as if everybody knows what it means. Please, indulge the ignorant and give us a definition.

A trope is a story figure of speech, a shortcut that authors use in traditional fiction to convey a message, an emotion without spelling it all out. Like that large breasted girl that suggest that the group splits up to investigate something in a Horror movie… everyone knows she’ll get killed. That’s a Trope.

Tropes are part gimmick, part audience expectations. Used too often, they become clichés.

Tropes are used by everyone, even RPG adventure writers. Adventures are like stories. Learning about tropes makes writing effective, fun adventures easier.

e:   What’s the hardest thing about being a DM?

Fighting procrastination before each game session to prepare a game that is tailored to the tastes of all players. It’s so easy to convince myself that the published adventure I have is fine as is and then start World of Warcraft.

e:   Coke or Pepsi?

Either, as long as it’s Diet… I even drink the Store Brand sludge when it’s on special.

e:   Crunch or Fluff?

I look at Crunch First. It needs to fit my needs and my game style. Then, if I like it I see how the fluff is built around the crunch and make my decision on adopting the system or nut.

e:   Peanut butter and ______ sandwich.

bananas/honey

e:   If you had a theme song, what would it be?

Definitively Knights of Cydonnia by Muse, coolest song ever!

e:   What advice do you have for people who want to learn how to DM?

Join a group, observe the DM for a few sessions, read the 4th Edition Dungeon Master Guide and read GM-tips website like Martin Ralya’s Treasure Tables, Gnome Stew and of course, Musings of the Chatty DM.

e:   What’s your favorite mini?

Kermit the horny Green Slaad

e:   Favorite RPG writer(s)?

Mike Mearls and Monte Cook, I wish I could design like they do.

e:   Favorite monster?

Evil Outsiders. I love playing Demons and Devils!

e:   What’s your opinion on gnomes getting yoinked from the PHB?

No opinion, they’ll be back in the PHB II… Ask me what I think of multiple PHBs instead.

e:   When you actually get to PLAY 4e, what character will you play?

Most likely a Halfling cleric of Cheerfulness

e:   If there was no D&D, what RPG would you be playing/GMing?

Probably Savage Worlds or a variant thereof.

e:   What’s the funniest (PG-13) dating mishap you’ve ever had?

I was 16 and somehow found myself with a 20 year old girlfriend. On our first date that my parent were away from the house she bough a 5$ bottle of sparkling wine and decided to show me how it was done. Best 7 seconds of my life!!!

e:   You’re a married geek. What’s your #1 motto to live by for getting and keeping the girl of your dreams?

Listen to her, make her feel special, indulge in /respect her geekiness as she does with you.

e:   What does your wife think of your geekiness? Is there a line you must not cross?

She’s a geek too. All’s fine as long as I don’t indulge in my hobbies on a Saturday afternooon while the whole family is available.

e:   Bacon or Canadian bacon?

Guess

e:   Tell us why Canada is the best place to live. I mean, snow, ice, freezing temperatures… what are the upsides?

Canadian Bacon, Free Healthcare, Canadian Bacon, Girls needing bodily warmth, Canadian Bacon, Poutine, Canadian Bacon, My wife, Canadian bacon

e:   So I’m really bummed that I won’t be going to GenCon. Please fill my readers in on the things you’ll be doing there without me:

Yeah, I really overbooked myself!

I’ll be DMing 4 Sessions for the Paizo Pathfinder Society as well as being the Table DM for a Major Drow house in the Ascension of the Drow 126 player mega adventure.

I’ll host a Drunken D&D 4e game with fellow RPG blogger (It’s a D&D drinking game with an adventure I wrote expressly for it).

I’ll co-host a GM-Fu seminar about Adventure Prep.

I’ll be part of a RPGblogger panel with our buddies.

I’ll play in a crazy D&D 4e game called ‘Out of the Box‘ hosted by the Stupid Ranger crew.

Thanks for playing e’s interviews, Phil!!