How to Effectively Use Descriptive Language in Your Dating Profile


What kind of language do you use in your dating profile? Writing a strong dating profile isn't easy, a lot of the clients I've worked with have told me that they have no idea how to write about themselves. Their stories are not really that unusual. Many people struggle with being able to talk themselves up or highlight their best features in their dating profile. The words we choose to describe ourselves (or our ideal matches) can have a huge impact on how your dating profile is received … [Read more...]

Hacking dating site algorithms to find a better match


  If you've been on dating websites for a while you've probably thought to yourself as some point or another "where are they coming up with these suggested matches from?" Some dating websites, such as OkCupid, base their compatibility scores on how you answer their questions; other sites determine whom they send your way via the general preferences you’ve listed on your profile.  Depending on the website and how much profile information you’ve filled out, the matches that are being … [Read more...]

“Thanks, but I’m not interested” – How to Respond to Unwanted Messages


When you’ve received a message on a dating site from a person you’re not interested in, what do you do? There’s two basic schools of thought – either ignore the message entirely, or send a polite decline. Is one method better than the other? That comes down to a matter of personal opinion. We’ve included the case for both strategies and how to navigate this territory. No response required You don’t owe anyone on an online dating site a response. Ultimately, the other users on the … [Read more...]

The Top Five Statements That Hurt Your Online Dating Profile


There are some phrases and themes that seem to pop up over and over again in less than fabulous online dating profiles. More often than not, people are simply unaware that some seemingly innocuous sounding things can actually be huge turn-offs. (Of course there are extreme versions of crazy stuff people write too, like this dude.) We've compiled a list of the top things you should never include on a dating profile and some helpful hints about how they can be corrected. 1) "I don't know … [Read more...]

Do You Make These First Contact Message Mistakes?

Find Love

Hello again fellow geeks! This week I wanted to address an issue that many online daters struggle with, sending a great first contact e-mail. It can be intimidating to try to compose a message that catches someone’s attention, but if you try to avoid these common pit falls, you’ll move from online dating n00b to superhero levels of confidence. Below I’ve outlined some of the things you should generally try to avoid when sending a first message to someone on a dating site. Writing too … [Read more...]

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Online Daters (Part 2)


As a continuation of my previous article, I'm outlining the principle from the classic self-help book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. When examining each of these behaviors, it’s easy to see how they can be applied to the dating world. In part two of this post, we’ll continue to look at habits four through seven of highly effective daters. If you haven’t read about habits one through three yet, do not pass go, do not collect $200 – go back and read it now. Then … [Read more...]

The best writing exercise to improve your online dating profile


Often when I ask a client what they’re looking for in a potential partner they don’t know how to answer. Creating a dating wish list is relatively simple to do and will definitely improve the quality of what you choose to include in your profile. It’s a valuable writing exercise because once you are clear in your own mind about what you are looking for your entire outlook on online dating will change. With any dating profile you’re writing as much about yourself you are also writing about … [Read more...]

How to navigate the online dating scene’s hierarchy of chat


You’ve spent hours looking at profiles on online dating sites and someone catches your eye. After sending off an icebreaker message the conversation seems to going well. When deciding to exchange contact information with this would-be-date, there’s probably a goal of meeting up offline. How you choose to chat with this person is a huge part of the getting to know you game. There are a plethora of communication options available to you, so it’s understandable that you may feel lost about the … [Read more...]

Movies That Molded a Geek: Jumpin’ Jack Flash


"Dogs barking.  Can't fly without umbrella." Long, long ago, back in the days when the only computer in my house was a Commodore64, before online dating sites or really even the Internet as we know it, there was Jumpin' Jack Flash.  The film combined spy intrigue with online romance and, most importantly, comedy.  The lead, played by Whoopi Goldberg, is a surprisingly well-developed female character, even (sadly) by today's standards.  Oh, and did I mention?  She's a geek, too. Terry … [Read more...]

End of Song, Beginning of Story: Dating Resolutions for the New Year

(c) jenny downing, via Flickr

It’s the first day of the rest of your life! Well, it’s the second day of . . . the second page . . . it’s January 2nd, 2012. A good day for making resolutions. Especially for making new resolutions because the ones you made yesterday have already been broken. I’m trying to avoid the whole resolution thing this year, but for my queer and geeky brethren out there this is the perfect time to make a new start in your quest for love. Think about adding these resolutions to your dating outlook in … [Read more...]