Everyone knows that the Oscars were held this past Sunday, with all the usual pomp and circumstance. While trying to be hip to appeal to younger demographics, there was no shortage of nods to the past, with giant sets depicting Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, and other classic films. And while they actually skipped the segment where a speech is said about each Acting nominee, there was still a surplus of actors fawning all over each other – which makes sense; after all, it’s a celebration of the movie industry.

Did you know there’s another Academy Awards ceremony in the same month as the Oscars? The Scientific and Technical Awards are held a few weeks before the Oscars. It’s not just as simple as “these are the technical awards that wouldn’t fit in the broadcast;” the actual awards are a little different. Instead of competing against the films of just one year, the awards recognize pioneers in the general movie industry. A type of CG lighting first used in “Shrek 2” takes the CG industry demonstrably one step forward; the people who developed it get an award.

Without the people recognized at the Sci-Tech awards, the movie industry would not be where it is, for better and for worse. James Cameron is able to achieve his vision because of these people. Michael Bay is probably able to churn out more Transformers-lite films. Stunts with heavy props can be done safely. In terms of the actual process of making a film, the Sci-Tech recipients are the ones who redefine it.

On the night of the Oscars, after a brief segment describing the Sci-Tech Awards, James Franco deadpanned to the camera, “Good job, nerds.” Honestly, it was disheartening. Sure, it was a line that’s intended to be funny; sure, the Sci-Tech Awards are often referred to as the Nerd Oscars or the Geek Oscars (I’ve even done it in the past). And maybe Anne Hathaway, a musical theater geek and drama kid if I’ve ever seen one, could have pulled off the line better because she seems more like she’s “one of us.”

But even without the poor delivery, the throwaway line was uninspired writing and just plain sad. Typically, the Oscars are the mutual admiration society for the Hollywood set. People were crying with joy because Billy Crystal graced the stage for a few moments; they were gushing over Oprah. Neither the writers nor the hosts could muster up a little respect for people who directly influence the industry as a whole?

And I looked up James Franco, assuming he was one of those model-turned-actor pretty boys. He’s not. He’s supposedly quite a natural at mathematics; now he’s one of those pursue-your-craft type of actors. He should have known better.

However, it’s no secret that the Oscars were lacking in several respects this year. So let’s brush aside the insensitive delivery of a guy who looked like he was stoned anyway and take a moment to appreciate the Sci-Tech Award recipients, and others in their field – the ones who take us to galaxies far away, the ones who pioneer technology that enable the Robert Rodriguez wannabe to get started. The ones who have made technology not something that hinders or detracts from a production, but instead make possible to realize worlds never imagined. Without a trace of snark, I say, good job, nerds.

(If you prefer your E to be cheerful, bubbly, and adorable, you may want to leave this post now.)

A few things influenced our decision to attend Dragon*Con rather than PAX:

• We could drive to Dragon*Con. No plane tickets necessary.
• We had heard Dragon*Con was one of those cons that every geek had to experience.
• We had already attended PAX East this year (which I’m pretty sure is where I picked up mono, but that’s unrelated). While we had fun, we weren’t sure that we wanted to do two PAXes is one year.

So, Dragon*Con it was! Our friend Jared von Hindman had been couch-surfing in the States between GenCon and Dragon*Con to avoid having to fly back and forth from Germany. We were the last stop on his couch-tour, so he hopped in our backseat for the drive to Atlanta, which definitely made the long trip more fun.

A Comedy of Car-Related Errors

We finally get to Atlanta and are trying to get to Jared’s hotel, The Westin. We can SEE it, but between the multiple one-way streets and several police road blocks, we end up circling around for what seemed like hours, getting stuck in the same intersections again and again and again. At the end of  a long road trip, this is the last thing we wanted.

After dropping Jared off at the Westin, we do the same round and round and round trying to get to our hotel, the Hyatt Regency. We finally pull up, ready to hand off the car to the valet and pay ANY PRICE just to GTFO of the car.

But no, valet parking is full. I get out of the car with our luggage while Dave drives to the self-park lot around the corner. The self-park lot for the Hyatt was also full, so he parked in a nearby ghetto lot where you have to shove your dollars into a slot in a big box. At least the car was parked.

We returned the next day to pay the box again to find the car BOOTED with a sticker on the window with the number of the boot removal place. Apparently paying the box only gets you parking until 6 am the following day. If we wanted to be in the lot for another day, we were going to have to wake up at 5:30 am, walk to the box, and restuff it. Oh, and there were no receipts or anything. No way for us to prove when we’d parked. The numbers on the signs for the parking lot had no one manning the phones. $75 later, the car was free.

We drove a bit down the street and found a parking garage. The guy at the gate said “Six dollars.”  We were like, “What about overnight?” “Six dollars,” he said. We were skeptical. “Are you SURE we can park here overnight?” He nodded. “Yep.” We parked, driving past a sign that said NO OVERNIGHT PARKING: VEHICLES WILL BE TOWED.  Ummmm… we asked again as we walked out of the lot. “Are you SUUUUURE we can park overnight?” He said as long as we left the ticket on our windshield, we were fine.

After the Dragon*Con fiasco (more on that in a bit) was over, we carried all our luggage back to this parking garage to find the gate closed. Panic. There was a phone box on the wall with a sign saying to call the security office after hours. Dave called and luckily a friendly security guard came out, opened the gate, and let us free. No additional money for the night of parking.

Dave spoke with one of the front desk staff at the Hyatt about the parking situation and we were given the blow-off answer, “This is what happens when the dragon convention is in town. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

Boob-Watching & Eye Bleach Moments

If you enjoy breasts, you may enjoy Dragon*Con.

There are tons of breasts everywhere. Breasts in corsets, breasts in tight t-shirts, breasts in spandex, breasts in latex, breasts covered in electrical tape, breasts in body paint and pasties, and if you attend the right parties, just plain ol’ naked breasts.

If you enjoy ass, you may enjoy Dragon*Con.

There is tons of ass everywhere. Ass in short skirts, ass in thongs, ass in spandex, ass in latex, ass covered in electrical tape, ass in body paint, and just plain ol’ naked ass.

However, no matter how much wonderful T&A you may view at Dragon*Con, nothing will erase the eye bleach moments.

• On Friday, a girl who was “skinny-fat.” She was beautiful from the front… but when we saw her from behind… oh good gods. It was like her ass was made of melting wax. Jiggling melting wax. In a thong.  Be glad I didn’t take a picture.
• On Saturday, a 65-year-old man in a micro-kilt. Seriously, I was expecting to see his junk waggling just under the hem.  Be glad I didn’t take a picture.
• On Sunday, a large man in his 30s dressed as Captain Underpants, running down the street by the Hilton.  Be glad I didn’t take a picture.

The #1 Reason Why I Won’t Attend Dragon*Con Again

Dragon*Con is the most overcrowded, unorganized con I have attended to date.  Instead of being in a convention center, it’s spread out across many of the downtown Atlanta hotels. While GenCon does this beautifully, GenCon also has the central hub of the Indy Convention Center, which is easily connected to nearly all the other GenCon hotels.

Dragon*Con doesn’t have this convenience. Each hotel is its own entity. Want to know how to get to the Hyatt from the Marriott? The Hilton from the Hyatt? You’re on your own. Sure, there’s a map, but you won’t be able to stop to read it.

Which brings me to my next point…

Dragon*Con is full to the brim with impatient and downright RUDE people.

If you stop, even for an instant, you’ll get bodychecked by someone. Actually, even if you don’t stop, you’ll be bumped and jostled by more people than you can count.

Want to stop in the dealers’ hall and admire something at a booth? Maybe even make a purchase? Good luck. You’ll be pushed along by the people behind you and most likely hear a few nasty words about you blocking the way.

If you find an open spot to walk, you’ll be yelled at for walking there. Every once in a while you spot a straight shot of space between you and where you’re going. Don’t do it. You’re walking right through someone’s perfectly posed cosplay shot and you will be yelled at by a very bitchy Wonder Woman who will call you a few choice words. Sorry sweetheart, we’ll return you to your 85th self-esteem boost of the day in just a second.

Going down the escalator? There will be a giant wall of people at the bottom. When you get to the bottom, you can’t step off. You will trip off. Then the people behind you will SHOVE YOU WITH BOTH HANDS into the sea of people in front of you. This happened to me and I watched it happen to many other people. Then the person behind you will yell “MOOOOOVE!!!”

Want to see your favorite stars in their panel or get a book signed by a favorite author? One, you need to be sure the right hotel and room is listed in the program book. The one signing Dave wanted to attend was listed incorrectly. By the time he found out where the signing really was, the line was around the block.  Your best bet for actually seeing a panel is standing in line for 2-3 hours OR watching it on Dragon*Con’s TV channel back in your hotel room. This is how we managed to see the Firefly panel.

You will wait for 20 minutes for an elevator to your room. At all hours. When you’re on the 19th floor, the stairs just aren’t an option. So you wait. With all of humanity. And sometimes, like us, you’ll wait 20 minutes for an elevator to have it stolen by Summer Glau and her handlers. I don’t care if you’re famous, it’s still rude.

Finally… If you go to bed at an “old folks” time like midnight or 1 am, you will be able to hear the raging parties at full volume until at least 5 am.

Need A Better Visual?

Ever been to the mall on Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving)?

Dragon*Con is like that… except with twice as many people. Half of them have wings or extra arms that stretch beyond their body and they don’t have awareness of them, so you’ll get a wing to the eye while you’re trying to squeeze past them in the food court.

You won’t be able to get into your favorite store without waiting in line for three hours, and once you get in, you won’t be able to stop long enough to look at the things you want to buy.  By the time you get out of that store, all the other stores you wanted to check out will be closed or sold out of the things you want.

Oh, there will be some mostly naked people there, but all the tits & ass in the world wouldn’t be worth the people-overload experience and the moments that require eye bleach.

…The Bright Side of Life…

Always look on the bright side of life…. *whistles*

The ups of Dragon*Con:

• Hanging out with Y & Sapheriel, my old roommates from Charlotte.
• Jared von Hindman, who constantly thanked us for letting him couch surf and driving him to Dragon*Con. And his lovely wife, Rachel, who hung out with us after finding out the vampire LARP she had been looking forward to attending was canceled.
• Buying a blue Chibithulhu for my Chibithulhu collection and a cute print at the art sale of crazy kitties (included Cat-thulhu) for my cube at work.
• Playing Fiasco with DaveTheGame, Rachel von Hindman, David & Rick from Gold: The Series, and Jared von Hindman, who wasn’t an actual player but hopped in to voice the various NPCs we needed. We played DaveTheGame’s new (unnamed) playset, which was basically Animal House meets Lovecraft.  I was Nora the pothead dance major, who smokes to stay skinny because instead of getting the munchies, she gets horny. In the end, I was turned into some sort of tentacled something-or-other during a cultist ritual and later my mostly-lifeless body was “rescued” by my pot dealer, who threw me into a wood chipper and blended my remains into a new variety of pot.  In conclusion: AWESOME. If you haven’t played Fiasco, you are missing out on my favorite non-D&D RPG.

Next Year…

I spent all of Dragon*Con being miserable, hot, and shoved around by strangers.  Meanwhile, I read all of my friends’ tweets about the amazing experience at PAX. Everything at PAX seemed to be the things I *wanted* to be doing.

Dragon*Con, I have experienced you and you sucked. I hated you. Nearly every minute.

Next year, I am going to PAX.

A year later and not much seems to have changed.  Oh wait, something has – I haven’t really had reason to tune into that channel more than a few times in the past year.  Battlestar Galactica‘s done.   Doctor Who is now on BBC America.  Every time I hit the guide it’s a marathon of D-movies, which wouldn’t be terrible except it’s the same ones every time (only so many times I can watch Atomic Twister, really).

And then E, who apparently loves to get me riled up, sent me an article that informed me that Syfy will be moving its Friday night programming to Tuesdays, replacing it with WWE’s Friday Night Smackdown.

Sigh.

First, I’ll try desperately to find the good.  I don’t believe Syfy is adding more wrestling, just switching out wrestling shows and moving them around.  I don’t particularly understand why they think moving their best/only shows to an already-crowded Tuesday is a good idea, opposite shows like V, but, um, at least LOST will be over?

And let me address the wrestling thing.  I’m not going to disparage wrestling, or people who like wrestling.  I know several young boys who are really into this whole thing, alongside Clone Wars and D&D.  I get that tons of little kids are really into this, that it’s practically live-action superhero stuff.  And as Syfy’s Craig Engler said:

“Basically, sports are GREAT for TV. Sports bring younger viewers and drive live viewing, and they bring in a relatively broad audience, i.e. more new viewers. We looked at a number of fantastical sports to see if they’d fit with our audience, including really fun things like Kaiju Big Battel. [...] We ended up trying wrestling out because it has larger than life heroes and villains and “fantastical thrills” as we like to say…”

I can see what they’re trying to do, here.  However:  Why did they need any sports in the first place?  So young people like sports – big shocker.  I don’t think Syfy has the programming to  lure new viewers away from WWE and on to their other shows.  Their numbers might go up because WWE’s substantial audience will tune in to see Smackdown – but let’s not kid ourselves here.  There’s not a natural progression from Smackdown to Stargate.

They want young viewers?  Then why did they not only let go of Doctor Who, but the geared-for-children Sarah Jane Adventures?  Are they specifically working on programming for young sf fans?  Why are shows like Avatar: The Last Airbender perfectly capable of being produced by Nickelodeon, but not Syfy?  Could it be, perhaps, that Nickelodeon does not condescend to its own audience?

Not only has Syfy become embarrassed of it’s own demographic, it’s become lazy, trying to take the easiest, most inexpensive way out.  When they actually produce something interesting – like one of their acclaimed miniseries – they’ll suffer because it will be hard to bring those viewers over to WWE, and vice versa.  They don’t have a cohesive feel that naturally brings viewers from one show to the next.  It’s becoming a dumping ground for the cheap and silly.

Such a disappointment.

So I have American Idol on the brain and I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking about some of the female dating bloggers I read (and I read a lot of ‘em!).  These are the single girls who blog about their “dating adventures” or whatever other cutesy phrase they have for it.

…and I’ve realized they have a lot in common (and this explains why so many beautiful women are still single):

The Meat Market

American Idol starts with stadiums full of hopefuls.  STADIUMS. And by now, you should know they don’t all make it to being on television.  They get weeded out through large group auditions in several rounds until it comes down to the ones who get to see the final judges.

The meat market happens with the online dating sites as well. This is where your single girl will set up her search criteria. She wants a guy between 5’9″ and 6’3″ (even though she may be 5’2″).  Are you 5’8″? Too bad, she’ll never see your profile, even if you could be perfect for her.  (Another reason why you should take emailing into your own hands.)

Sure, a girl’s gotta have standards, but I wonder how many of my gender have really given consideration to their list of qualifications for entry.

Hollywood Round – Or, You Looked Good Until I Saw You With Those Other People

Hollywood week is the kiss of death for so many American Idol contestants. People who you absolutely loved in their original auditions suddenly become drama queens when faced with the task of learning a song in a group. Others who were so-so in their first audition suddenly shine.  People forget words, people can’t dance. It’s a recipe for disaster – and now with the “forget the words and go home” rule, it’s the most stressful audition round in the competition.

All for what? To eventually end up in a competition where how you sing in a group DOESN’T MATTER.  American Idol is a solo singing competition, so other than the TV drama value, I don’t see the point of the group round in Hollywood.

Here’s where our picky dating ladies come in.  Now, I’m not just talking about dating bloggers, but you know for every 1 woman writing it there are 10 thinking it!

She logs into her account and sees five emails from different guys. And what does she do?  In her mind she thinks, “Who’s the best one?”  Delving into her mailbox with that mindset, she’s eliminating the other four guys, if not all five.  If you make it through this round, it’s because she decided that given the contents of her mailbox, you were the best candidate. Congratulations!

First Dates: Be Paula, Not Simon

Making it out of the dreaded Hollywood round means you finally get to go back to solo performances.  Hooray!  But now you’re pitted against the panel of judges, who will speak their mind about every aspect of your 2 minutes of stage time.

This season, we’re without everyone’s favorite druggie, Paula Abdul.  I’m going to miss her.  One, it was hilarious watching her try to string together a coherent thought. But two, despite her ramblings, she was usually the only judge to see past the one performance and see who the performer was as a whole.

Sadly, most women go into first dates thinking like Simon.  They’re looking for as many reasons to discount him as possible.  Is he really 5’9″? Isn’t he a little balder than in his pictures? Is his laugh annoying? Did he tip 18% instead of 20%? Did he go in for a kiss? Should he have kissed and didn’t?

…and if he makes it past the first date, then it becomes analyzing when he text messages, what those texts say, how long it takes him to call, whether he asks for a second date right away…

LADIES!!!

I keep reading all these things and I can tell you exactly why you’re single.  I can tell you exactly why you’ll be a grumpy dating blogger for the rest of your life.  (Because let’s face it, there are way more blogs by single women complaining about dating than there are by women blogging about their happy, fulfilling relationships.)

How about you give the guys of the world a goddamn chance?

Every day, I chat with dozens of single guys who are sweet, wonderful, kind, smart, successful men. But yet, they keep getting ignored.  They get chopped out of the meat market for being too short, they get axed in Hollywood round for a guy who makes 10k more a year or who has a bit more hair, and they get ignored after a first date for a “mistake” that they didn’t even know they made.

How about instead of being Simon, you embrace the whole-person attitude of crazy Paula Abdul?

The worst thing that can happen is that you get several dinner dates a week. The best thing that can happen is you meet the man of your dreams, exactly in the places where you thought you didn’t want to look.

“She’s taking advantage of geeks!”

I even had one guy take it a step further and say that I was taking advantage of people with autism-spectrum disorders.

*blink*

Yeah, I know.

But I’m not here to defend myself – I’ve done that before.  I know who I am – a geek – and I know what’s in my heart – the desire to help other geeks find love using my writing skills and experience in the online dating world.  If you want to question my motives, knock yourself out.  But check out my service pages and you’ll see testimonials from all my happy clients.

Which leads me to my Exhibit A for what Taking Advantage of Geeks looks like:

http://www.geekmatchmaking.com

Go on, check it out.  (Not linking directly to prevent their angry mobs from seeing the traffic from here and coming to visit.)

Write Geek Enough, and It’s Now Geek Dating!

Other than the word “geek” plastered all over the page and one shitty JPG of a laptop with love glasses, there’s nothing about this site that says it’s made by geeks for geeks.  In fact, it looks an awful lot like a bunch of other shitty dating sites, but with some “creative” copy written by a $3/hr freelance copywriter from India.

The Fine Print Says It All

Now, do me a favor and scroll to the bottom of the page and look at the footer.  You’ll see a line that says “Powered by World Dating Partners.”  Anybody know what that means?

It’s known as a white label site, which means that as the dating site owner, all you need to do is customize your site and put it out there, and EVERYTHING ELSE gets taken care of by your company, in this case World Dating Partners.  To be clear, this means the site comes pre-stocked with profiles from other white label sites.   To be extra clear, the people you find on the site may not have signed up for geek dating at all.

To see what white label looks like in action, compare:

http://www.geekmatchmaking.com/static/stories/feedback.do

http://www.dating.com/static/stories/feedback.do

http://www.makefriendsfast.net/static/stories/feedback.do

http://www.australian.summer-romance.com/static/stories/feedback.do

Success Stories?

Also, if you Google the “success stories” you’ll notice they show up on multiple sites, sometimes with small details changed, but often not.

But hey, why wait for legitimate success stories that you’ll never get?  Why not just use the same success stories that every other white label site uses and tweak them to work for geeks?

Sad.

Dater Beware!

How can you tell a legitimate geek dating site?

• It looks like it’s run by geeks.
• It’s not powered by a white label company.
• The members have geeky profiles.
• The success stories don’t show up on other sites.  (Google is your friend!)
• You ask around and hear good things about it from other geeks.

Where Can A Geek Date?

Want a geek specific dating site?

My #1 geek dating site (other than my own, which is a bit different!) is definitely SoulGeek.com.  Up to nearly 19,000 members, SoulGeek is a site run BY geeks FOR geeks.

Check out my interview with founder Dino Andrade, J’s interview with Soulgeek spokesman Richard Hatch of Battlestar Gallactica, or follow Soulgeek on Twitter.  They’re great people who run a great niche dating site.

As I write this, it’s 3:13 am.  This is the third night in a row that I’ve been up past 3 am working on the site.  My eyeballs are dried out, my brain is fried, and I’d sleep if I could stop the lines of PHP from floating through my brain like the Matrix.

At least tonight I’ll make it to bed before DaveTheGame wakes up for work.

First, let me tell you a bit about why the change happened in the first place.

The Goals

• Put the business face of GDG forward. Since I’m currently a full-time writer, I needed to be sure that I was promoting my services to newbies to the site.  As it was, the blog was front and center and the services were kind of a side note.
• Have a theme that’s currently supported. While I loved Justin Tadlock’s Structure theme, we were outgrowing it and it’s no longer being updated or supported.

Pros and “Cons”

Pros

• StudioPress is amazing.  Not only do they have great themes, they have utterly fantastic tutorial videos and a very active support forum.  Many thanks to SoZo for putting up with my questions!
• Because of the facts listed above, I was able to do the majority of the work on the site myself rather than spending money (or hounding friends).
• J and I feel the site retains the vibe of GDG but improves upon the design and layout.  What do you think?

“Cons”

• I apologize in advance if you hate change, especially if you’re the type of person who thrives on the status quo.   Unfortunately, I’m the type of person who believes there’s always room for improvement, and this change was a long time comin’!
• There are going to be people who miss having the box on the top right with the Recent Posts, Popular Posts, and Categories.  You’ll be glad to know that the featured boxes on the home page show the most recent 6-9 posts, with thumbnails and excerpts!  You’ll also find your familiar Recent Posts widget in the sidebar of all posts.
• You’ll notice a few new widgets promoting our services or particular blog posts or features.  Please also notice that all other advertisements are at a bare minimum.  We like it that way and we hope you do, too.

Code Monkeys, I Bow Down To You

I’ve learned a lot in the past couple weeks, mainly that I have no business being a code monkey.  What probably would have taken you four hours of work has taken me many, many sleepless nights.

But in true geek fashion, I pressed on because it was important for me to learn something.

And I have.  I’ve learned a ton about CSS and PHP.  I’ve also learned that if I can afford it, I’m hiring a code monkey next time so my site can get redone in 1/16th of the time while I’m sipping iced tea and planning my Eberron campaign.

What Do You Think?

Poke around the new digs for a while and come back here to let us know what you think.  We’re pretty stoked about the new look, but open to feedback – and bug reports! -  from our dear geeky readers.

It seems that some of you gentlemen are a little peeved at the fact that women are getting special prices.  Equality, you say!  Whatever happened to equality?

Let me break it to you as kindly as I can – there ain’t no equality.

There’s never been equality and there will never be equality.   All we can do is try to tip the scales back and forth until a reasonable outcome occurs.

It hurts, I know.   You want the women to pony up and pay their way so you can feel like you’ve both suffered equally in the dating game (at least, financially speaking).  But it’s not going to happen that way, and here’s why.

Let’s say you own a club in the bustling metropolis of your choice.  Now, you have your regulars, the folks who come in no matter what band or DJ is pumping out the tunes, the folks who come in no matter if it’s Tuesday or Saturday.  They’re your bread and butter.

But as we all know, you can’t live on bread and butter alone.  It gets boring.  Eventually, all of your bread knows all of your butter.  They’ve intermingled so long that they’re tired of each other.  Or, worse yet, a fight breaks out between one pair and you lose a bunch of butters because they don’t like the kind of bread that hangs out at your establishment anymore.

So, if you keep things on the even, you’ll eventually end up toast.  Dry, tasteless toast.

But you’re a smarter cookie.  You think to yourself, there’s got to be a way to bring in lots of new people.   But you want to be sure you get a good mix of the genders, since everyone knows one of the best ways to get business is to be “that club with the hot chicks everywhere.”

How does one procure a good ratio of chicks to … gentlemen?

You have Ladies Night.  With inexpensive drinks for the ladies, you ensure that 1) more ladies show up to your club than other clubs in the area and 2) said ladies are inebriated enough to want to go home with your … gentlemen clientele.

It’s win-win, isn’t it?  …and before you get on your high horse and start whining, think about haircuts.   Those have been priced in favor of men for years and have only now started to even out in price.  Don’t you owe us a couple free White Russians?   (Besides, the free drinks are always with the crappy cheap alcohol anyway.)

Clubbing has never been my style, so I’ve always gone out to events like live concerts, swing dances, and movies.  These are priced equally for both genders.  Online dating sites are also priced equivalently for both men and women.

So why is GeekMMM‘s price skewed to benefit women?

It’s not.  It’s skewed to benefit men.  The majority of my readers (at least the ones that are most vocal!) are men.  Men are still in the majority of the RPG playing population and the geek population at large.   With the prices as is, I’m hovering at just about a 50/50 split between guy geeks and girl geeks.  If I evened out the prices, GeekMMM would be a sausage fest, and I’m sure you’re all very familiar with how good your chances are of getting a date when you’re attending a sausage fest.

(Unless you’re a sausage who is also into other sausages…)

So, let the tacos of the world have our free drinks and our cheap admission rates.  In the end, you’re the ones that benefit.

What? No!

The Pick-Up Artist is a TV series that has had two seasons, thus far, on VH1.  The concept behind the show is that Mystery, a “seduction artist,” teaches “the art of the pick-up” to a group of (geeky) guys who are looking for love.   I started watching the show because the commercials promised geeks and makeovers, which are always fun.  I also wanted to see what Bizzaro world thought giant fuzzy hats and enormous runic necklaces were alluring.  (Never did figure that one out.) Soon, however, I was left with a bad taste in my mouth.

Many of the guys on the show, at their root, are looking for a relationship.  For a girlfriend.  The “art of seduction” has nothing to do with forming a relationship, or learning how to communicate with someone.

I guess you could say that it’s the contestants’ fault for signing up for the show in the first place, but these are guys who are historically bad with women, and looking for someone – anyone – to tell them what to do.

So, let’s see what they learn:

The main idea behind Mystery’s method - called, big surprise, the “Mystery Method” -  is that these guys, who inherently approach women with low self-esteem, need to level the playing field, as it were.  Not a bad idea; confidence is a turn-on.

However, how Mystery achieves a level playing field, more often than not, is through a trick he might have learned from a playground bully: build yourself up by tearing others down.

One of the most important concepts contestants have to master is the “neg,” a sort of backhanded complimenting designed to make their target more eager to get approval.  They also use prepackaged “funny stories” to open conversations, and specific techniques designed to subconsciously make their targets more receptive.

Many of the techniques are derived from tricks that people in sales and similar professions have used for years.  (I think I spotted some when I had to buy a car recently.) It’s just as cold, just as calculated.  And as these guys get results, they get put in a feedback loop, telling them that cold and calculated is the way to go.

If you’re at the point where you’re willing to try Mystery’s methods, you already typically have problems communicating with women.  Instead of focusing on the humanity of all involved, the Mystery Method perpetuates the concept of women as an “other,” an alien being that must be “handled” instead of understood.  And if you spend enough time insulting and manipulating a foreign being, it’s soon easy to think of them as something “less” than yourself.

If all you’re interested in is heartless sex, than sure, the Mystery Method might be something fun, a party trick to break out from time to time.  But the contestants – and the people that the Mystery Method targets – tend to be good guys who just want a meaningful relationship.  The Mystery Method will only bring them further away from their goal.

As for Mystery himself – I see him as an embittered guy who couldn’t relate meaningfully with other women.  Now he’s latched onto a 90′s fashion sensibility – probably what was popular when he first started out -   and surrounds himself with men in a little Lost Boys setup.  He doesn’t really like women, but he chases after girls because he feels powerful, like he’s gotten one over on them, if he succeeds.

Women who are more than their self-esteem issues see through dramatics and backhanded compliments.  And, incidentally, those are the kind of women worth pursuing.

So if you’re looking for love, fellow geeks, look for ways to relate, get closer.  Leave the cold pseudoscience of the Mystery Method at home.

Its name?

So I hop on the news and see this headline: Sci Fi Channel Aims to Shed Geeky Image With New Name.  I read that the new name is Syfy.

And my blood pressure skyrockets.

Look, I know the term “science fiction” has always had some people up in arms.  Many feel it’s too limiting, and in the 60s and 70s people in the genre started calling it sf instead.  I had a former hippie professor who pounded the term sf into me.

But that’s not why network heads are changing the name; they just don’t want to be considered uncool.  In the linked article, Tim Brooks, one of the guys who helped launch the channel more than 15 years ago, says some of the most damning things about sf culture that I’ve read in awhile.

“The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular,” he says.

Et tu, brute? With this kind of support, no wonder the Sci-Fi channel took over a decade to come into its own.

How can something succeed when the people behind it don’t embrace it?

Brooks adds some additional insight into how they viewed the channel all these years:

“We spent a lot of time in the ’90s trying to distance the network from science fiction, which is largely why it’s called Sci Fi,” Mr. Brooks said. “It’s somewhat cooler and better than the name ‘Science Fiction.’ But even the name Sci Fi is limiting.”

Right.  It still didn’t stop them from putting wrestling on the channel, even though the link between it and sf is tenuous at best.  Time and again, they’ve shown that the people making the programming decisions are have only the most vague notion of what sf fans want.

Now, in the last few years, the network had gotten considerably better.  They have Doctor Who and Sarah Jane.  Their little surreal station IDs have been adorable.  And, perhaps most importantly, they’ve had Battlestar: Galactica, probably the grittiest show that’s not on a movie channel.

And it’s paid off – apparently they’ve just had their best year.  Naturally, then, it’s time to re-assess, and destroy every bit of progress they’ve made.  Evidently the success of the show has not been due to network heads that loved and nurtured their product; they just lucked out with a couple of good writers and artists.

The Sci-Fi network wants to get into that cash cow, the teen demographic.  Hence the change to Syfy, which, they’ve determined, “is how you’d text it.”  If you’re ten.   Only, they aren’t saying they’re aiming at teens.  What Dave Howe, president of the Sci-Fi Channel, is saying is even worse:

“We’ll get the heritage and the track record of success, and we’ll build off of that to build a broader, more open and accessible and relatable and human-friendly brand.”

Human-friendly.  Because apparently the success that those geeks in basements have wrought is no longer good enough.  Being a top-10 network is great and all, but imagine how well we’d do with real people! Bring on the text-speak!  And this from the president of the channel.

And it’s probably doomed to failure.  Because it’s clear, from the trendy Syfy name and the way they’re talking about it, that they know as little about the young demographic as they do about the geeks.  Young adults can sense when they’re being condescended to, and they don’t like it.

They could have talked to a geek or two and determined that sf would be a far more sensible and catchy change.  Instead they’re listening to some marketing professional, and making a switch that sounds like the Sci-Fi Channel mixed with Nick Jr.

Let me know how that self-hating works out for you, Syfy.

I’m torn about this one…

On the Plus Side…

If you have the money, you are now free to communicate with all the girls on match.com, even the non-paying ones.  (And they can write back to you!)

If you’re too poor for a real subscription, you can at least mooch a little more effectively?  (Gosh, that was painful to type.)

On the Down Side…

I can see the amount of non-paying members growing once this program is launched, which is going to cause more headaches for the paying, yet non-Platinum members.

Another possible problem?  Gold diggers going after the platinum members because they assume these are guys with money.

My Suggestion

I can admit, while the new updates are frustrating from the standpoint of a paying member, business-wise it’s a pretty bright move.   What’s the one thing guys wish they could do?  Communicate with all the girls – even the non-paying ones.   Will they pay to do it?  Yep, some of them certainly will.

I’m with you here, guys.  It’s frustrating to have a ton of people on the service who look like every other member, but are in essence unable to communicate with you.  Match.com should not allow full profiles for non-paying members or establish some way of identifying their profiles.

Don’t hold your breath, though.