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Ladies: Your OkCupid Profile Is A Red Light District

16 August 2011 by 28 Comments
OkCupid Red Light - Replies Selectively

One of the features of OkCupid that is both wonderful and troublesome is the Message lights system. When someone is logged in and looking at your profile, one of three traffic light colors will appear: Green: Replies often Yellow: Replies selectively Red: Replies very selectively As far as I can find out, there is no specific documentation on OkCupid's end explaining the math behind the lights. There's much speculation on the OkCupid forum and in user's journals about the system and … [Read more...]

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Guys: Put Your Cock(iness) Away, It Has No Place In Your Dating Profile

2 August 2011 by 2 Comments
Put your cock(iness) away, please.

Made ya click. We've been talking lately about things that are the death of a geek guy's dating profile. Things like being Captain Obvious or accidentally sending the message that you don't want a girlfriend. But what if you swing the pendulum too far the other way? What if you get... cocky? We delve into more men's match.com profiles. Remember, these are quotes from the profiles of guys who are looking for a geek girl like me - a late 20s/early 30s, educated, professional … [Read more...]

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Guys: Your Dating Profile Is Saying That You Don’t Want A Girlfriend

26 July 2011 by 2 Comments
Do you want a girlfriend, or someone to sit on the couch while you play video games all weekend?

Last week, we looked into how being Captain Obvious was making your dating profile ho-hum and boring (and ultimately, making you seem not worthy of attention or emails). Today, we delve into more men's match.com profiles to show a totally different epidemic: guys who are on dating sites but have profiles that make it seem like they really don't care if they get a girlfriend. Remember, these are quotes from the profiles of guys who are looking for a geek girl like me - a late 20s/early 30s, … [Read more...]

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Dear Anon-O-Box: These “Nice Guys” Don’t Take No For An Answer

17 June 2011 by 13 Comments
mailbox

Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight girl with a fairly successful profile, so I get a lot of responses and many of them are from nice guys that just aren't as much my type as others who respond to me. I don't want to lead them on, but I also don't want to be mean when letting them know I'm not interested in them romantically and we don't have enough in common really for me to want to spend time even building a friendship. I know the dating world is hard, so I don't want to be harsh when I … [Read more...]

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What Real Estate Listings Can Teach You About Online Dating

17 May 2011 by 2 Comments
fixerupper

I'm in the process of buying my first home (OMG GROWNUP ALERT!!) and found that my online dating profile translating skills come in pretty handy when reading real estate listings. Just like in real estate, the words of someone's profile may not be exactly as they seem on the surface... Inflating and Deflating Sizes Real Estate "Cozy" = Small "Finished Attic" = Hope you're the height of an Oompa Loompa "Spacious" = You'll lose your kids (but is that a bad thing?) Online … [Read more...]

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Avoiding Premature Rejection on your Online Dating Site

10 May 2011 by 3 Comments
Talk To The Hand

When hiring me to do a dating profile critique or a profile makeover, clients have the same complaint: they're not getting enough (or any!) emails. They're not sure what's wrong, but their inboxes are empty and they're wondering if they're just putting their subscription money down the toilet. I'm their hope to get things right, or they're giving up on this online dating business. I'm happy to say that many of them email me back weeks later to say their new profile is working world's better … [Read more...]

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No Kids, Please! Online Dating for the Childfree

5 April 2011 by 13 Comments
nobaby

Details ran a great article a few days ago entitled "The No-Baby Boom." If you're interested in the full article - and it's great! - go ahead and read it and then come back. I'll still be here. For the TL;DR crowd, I'm going to pull out the parts that are relevant to singles dating online.  (But definitely go to the article and check out the pretty infographics!) The Four Types of Childfree People Laura S. Scott, who surveyed 171 subjects for her book Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to … [Read more...]

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Dear Anon-O-Box: Whoa! What’s With This Guy?

3 December 2010 by 5 Comments
mailbox

Dear Anon-O-Box, I've been chatting with someone on a dating site that seemed OK. However, a couple emails in and he started laying it on thick. Like really thick...telling me I am the fire that warms his heart thick. Perhaps I should mention I have not met this person. I asked him to not contact me, and he agreed. The next day, he sent a 15 page email explaining his actions. HELP! - What's With This Guy? Ask the Anon-O-Box your question! Click here. e answers: Dear WWTG, While … [Read more...]

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Dear Anon-O-Box: The Black Hole of No Reply

8 October 2010 by 1 Comment
mailbox

Dear Anon-O-Box, I have been on an online dating site for a couple months now, browsing girls' profiles and messaging a few. A small percentage have replied, and we've been having what I thought were good message conversations going back and forth. But for each exchange, the girl has just failed to reply at some point, ending the conversation. Have they just changed their minds? Did I say something wrong, each time? Are they expecting me to 'double-message' them, to prove that I'm … [Read more...]

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Dear Anon-O-Box: Please Say You Don’t Want Kids

17 September 2010 by 5 Comments

Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight male who doesn't like or want kids. Ever. I'm 32 and I'm not likely to change my mind about this. That said, finding women who think similarly has been extremely difficult and I'm wondering if I'm coming to the point where I can choose between being unhappy by having kids/seeing someone with kids or being unhappy from being eternally single. Any advice on what I can do or where I can go? - Childfree, Please e answers: Dear Childfree, You picked the right … [Read more...]

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