The Top Five Statements That Hurt Your Online Dating Profile


There are some phrases and themes that seem to pop up over and over again in less than fabulous online dating profiles. More often than not, people are simply unaware that some seemingly innocuous sounding things can actually be huge turn-offs. (Of course there are extreme versions of crazy stuff people write too, like this dude.) We've compiled a list of the top things you should never include on a dating profile and some helpful hints about how they can be corrected. 1) "I don't know … [Read more...]

Do You Make These First Contact Message Mistakes?

Find Love

Hello again fellow geeks! This week I wanted to address an issue that many online daters struggle with, sending a great first contact e-mail. It can be intimidating to try to compose a message that catches someone’s attention, but if you try to avoid these common pit falls, you’ll move from online dating n00b to superhero levels of confidence. Below I’ve outlined some of the things you should generally try to avoid when sending a first message to someone on a dating site. Writing too … [Read more...]

Deal Breakers for the Geek Dating Crowd


In the kindest and gentlest way possible I need to tell you something: do not be a desperate dater. Assert yourself and know that you deserve to be treated well. In short, know what your relationship deal breakers are and refuse to tolerate poor behavior. Now, to clarify this a bit more. A deal breaker is an action or behavior that cannot be overlooked in a romantic partnership. It outweighs any other redeeming qualities the person may exhibit.  I’m not talking about nitpicking trivial things, … [Read more...]

Ladies: Your OkCupid Profile Is A Red Light District

OkCupid Red Light - Replies Selectively

One of the features of OkCupid that is both wonderful and troublesome is the Message lights system. When someone is logged in and looking at your profile, one of three traffic light colors will appear: Green: Replies often Yellow: Replies selectively Red: Replies very selectively As far as I can find out, there is no specific documentation on OkCupid's end explaining the math behind the lights. There's much speculation on the OkCupid forum and in user's journals about the system and … [Read more...]

Guys: Put Your Cock(iness) Away, It Has No Place In Your Dating Profile

Put your cock(iness) away, please.

Made ya click. We've been talking lately about things that are the death of a geek guy's dating profile. Things like being Captain Obvious or accidentally sending the message that you don't want a girlfriend. But what if you swing the pendulum too far the other way? What if you get... cocky? We delve into more men's profiles. Remember, these are quotes from the profiles of guys who are looking for a geek girl like me - a late 20s/early 30s, educated, professional … [Read more...]

Guys: Your Dating Profile Is Saying That You Don’t Want A Girlfriend

Do you want a girlfriend, or someone to sit on the couch while you play video games all weekend?

Last week, we looked into how being Captain Obvious was making your dating profile ho-hum and boring (and ultimately, making you seem not worthy of attention or emails). Today, we delve into more men's profiles to show a totally different epidemic: guys who are on dating sites but have profiles that make it seem like they really don't care if they get a girlfriend. Remember, these are quotes from the profiles of guys who are looking for a geek girl like me - a late 20s/early 30s, … [Read more...]

Dear Anon-O-Box: These “Nice Guys” Don’t Take No For An Answer


Dear Anon-O-Box, I'm a straight girl with a fairly successful profile, so I get a lot of responses and many of them are from nice guys that just aren't as much my type as others who respond to me. I don't want to lead them on, but I also don't want to be mean when letting them know I'm not interested in them romantically and we don't have enough in common really for me to want to spend time even building a friendship. I know the dating world is hard, so I don't want to be harsh when I … [Read more...]

What Real Estate Listings Can Teach You About Online Dating


I'm in the process of buying my first home (OMG GROWNUP ALERT!!) and found that my online dating profile translating skills come in pretty handy when reading real estate listings. Just like in real estate, the words of someone's profile may not be exactly as they seem on the surface... Inflating and Deflating Sizes Real Estate "Cozy" = Small "Finished Attic" = Hope you're the height of an Oompa Loompa "Spacious" = You'll lose your kids (but is that a bad thing?) Online … [Read more...]

Avoiding Premature Rejection on your Online Dating Site

Talk To The Hand

When hiring me to do a dating profile critique or a profile makeover, clients have the same complaint: they're not getting enough (or any!) emails. They're not sure what's wrong, but their inboxes are empty and they're wondering if they're just putting their subscription money down the toilet. I'm their hope to get things right, or they're giving up on this online dating business. I'm happy to say that many of them email me back weeks later to say their new profile is working world's better … [Read more...]

No Kids, Please! Online Dating for the Childfree


Details ran a great article a few days ago entitled "The No-Baby Boom." If you're interested in the full article - and it's great! - go ahead and read it and then come back. I'll still be here. For the TL;DR crowd, I'm going to pull out the parts that are relevant to singles dating online.  (But definitely go to the article and check out the pretty infographics!) The Four Types of Childfree People Laura S. Scott, who surveyed 171 subjects for her book Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to … [Read more...]