“Nobody’s writing me!” you whine.  “Not only that, nobody’s even VIEWING ME! What am I doing wrong?”

Tired of being that guy going to movies alone?  Here are a few tips to make your profile more clickable.

Check Your Username

If your username is boring or sends the wrong message, people won’t even click to read your profile.  They’ll pass by your name in the search results.  Pick a unique and fun username that gives an idea of who you are or what you like to do.  Make it catchy!  On Match.com, you can change your username in less than a minute, so you have no excuse!

Get Your Picture “Girl Approved”

Guys, do not trust yourself when picking your best photo.  When left to your own devices, you usually pick the picture that scares girls.  If you doubt me, please check out my Deadly Sins series where I’ll show you what you’re putting as your “best face forward.”

Find a girl that you trust and ask her which picture is the best.  Don’t have a girl you trust?  All of my online dating help packages have a photo critique included!  (Just need the critique? Order a half hour consultation from the a la carte page.)

What’s Your Headline?

Your headline also determines whether or not you get clicked.  If your username is meh (strike one!), and your picture is meh (strike two!), you will get clicked if you have an awesome headline.   If your headline is less that stellar, strike three, yer out.

Keep your headline fresh by making a reference to the current season!

The Last Bit…

Be sure to start strong! Most dating sites will show the first few lines of your dating profile in the search results.   Assuming two profiles have equally interesting usernames, default pictures, and headlines, which one would you click?

I’m really not sure what I’m doing here, but everybody tells me that I should try online dating.  My sister met her husband here, so I guess it works.

…or…

I cannot wait for my July vacation!  My friends and I are renting a house on the beach and we’re going to spend the whole week surfing.

Take a hard look at your profile, geek friends.  What can you do to make it more clickable?

How else do you think Prince came up with a crazy idea like Purple Rain?  Have you ever seen purple rain?  I sure haven’t!  Is it a catchy and memorable phrase?  It sure is!

Step One:  Make A List of Adjectives

Make a list of adjectives that describe you or things that you like or admire.  This is a brainstorming phase, so just vomit everything out on to the page in front of you.  Sure, you’ll probably include some red flag words, but we’ll weed those out later.  Don’t be afraid if some of the adjectives are synonyms.

For example, here’s a list:

• fun
• crazy
• geeky
• strong
• brainy
• smart
• intelligent
• caring
• clumsy
• lovable
• sweet
• purple
• green
• chocolate
• cheesy

Step Two:  Make A List of Nouns

These should be things that you do, like, eat, watch, anything!

• violin
• viola
• orchestra
• dance
• cats
• dragon
• games
• rain
• fettucini
• mac n’cheese
• cheeseburger
• Firefly
• Serenity
• nap
• sleep
• writer

Step Three:  Combine!

If you’re extra geeky, you’ll have a little bit of code that will calculate all the possible combinations for you.  If you’re not so Code Monkey-esque, you can just read through and see what catches your eye.

Here are some that I think are pretty neat:

• FunFettucini
• ChocolateRain
• BrainySleep (like beauty sleep, but for smart people!)
• CheesyViolin
• ViolaGeek
• SweetSerenity
• MacNCrazyCheese
• ClumsyDragon
• DragonBurger

Yes, some are goofy/crazy/non-sensical, but they’re unique and fun and make people want to click on you to learn more.  If they click on you, they’ll read your profile.  If they read your profile, they might want to email you.  If they email you, they may want a date with you!   It all starts with a click of the mouse!

Not Getting What You Want?

Tweak the ones you like  until you get something with a ring to it.   Add to your list.  Have friends add to your list.  The possibilities are endless!

Want more help picking a unique and totally awesome username? I dedicate an entire chapter to screennames in my ebook: You Geek, They Grok: A Geek’s Guide to Leveling Up Your Online Dating Game. Click here to check it out.

You picked a bad username.   Maybe you put your real name and now people from work have found you and are taunting you.  Maybe you put your IM screenname and now you have a ton of Gelatinous Cubes sucking you in to conversations you’d rather not have.  Or maybe you’ve reactivated an old account and you are no longer 21andReady2Party.

To change your username on match.com:

1. Click My Account (in the top navigation bar).
2. Scroll down to Sign Up Information.
3. Click Change Sign-Up Information.
4. Change your username to something great!

Happy dating, Geek Friends!

What is your screenname saying about you? Does it send the wrong message?

This article is pretty interesting. It lists some of the screennames that people use on dating profiles that get both positive and negative attention.

Here’s the short and sweet of it:

GOOD

• Names that draw attention to a physical feature
  • Examples: blueeyes, cutie
• Playful or flirtatious names
  • Examples: fun2bwith, i’msweet

e’s thoughts: A good screenname highlights an interesting and unique bit about yourself. For example, my AIM screenname is d20dreamgirl (sadly, somebody out there has geeksdreamgirl already!). The name is appealing to guys who know (and love!) D&D and other d20 games. It’s also intriguing to those who might not know about it.

As my personal preference, I hate flirty names. That’s just me, though. Guys, be warned that if your screenname is too flirty, it will probably come off like you’re looking for one thing and one thing only.

BAD

• Names that denote culture/education (mostly for women)
  • Examples: wellread, welleducated
• Straightforward, boring names
  • Examples: smith24, justme
• Names that denote wealth
  • Examples: wealthyandwise, lovemyporsche, entrepreneur

e’s thoughts: What does it say about our culture that men are less likely to click on a girl’s profile if her screenname denotes education or culture? (Le sigh.) Guys, if you’re looking to catch a girl who values education and culture, please feel free to use a screenname like JoePhD or HandsomeLibrarian. I’d be all over that and I know all my geek sisters in the world would be too!

Boring names are boring (duh!), BUT if you have a quality main picture and a well-written profile, many girls will overlook you being Joe12345.

Wealthy names are going to attract gold diggers. If you want a piece of arm candy who will cheat on you and drain your bank account, then by all means, go for lovemyporsche. If you just happen to make lots of money because you can code like the wind, then stick with CodeMonkey411 and attract a JoCo-loving, sweet and wonderful geek girl.

Happy dating, Geek Friends.