And he’s not alone. According to the American College of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology, 1 out of 10 people is allergic to animals. The number could be as high as 30% in people with asthma.

While some folks have mild allergies and could co-habitate with a furry creature provided there was adequate ventilation and frequent vacuuming, not everyone is so lucky.

We did a poll last year, asking folks if they would give up their pets for a significant other. While the majority of folks said, “Hell no!” there were many other people who saw the issue in shades of gray (or perhaps tabby stripes?).

What I Want From Dating Sites

I’d like to see dating sites expand their options in the profiles and custom search to account for people with severe allergies.

Currently, most sites have these options:

• Have
• Don’t have, but like
• No answer / No opinion

Why not add to the list?

• Have, but it’s not mine.  (For folks with roommates with pets.)
• I have mild allergies.
• I have severe allergies.

It’s not a lot of work, code-wise, to add in a few options to an existing framework, and it would greatly help those people who are searching for that special someone who isn’t covered in cat hair or dog slobber.

How About You?

Would you like to see options for pet allergies on your dating site?

Does your dating site have these options? (Please let us know!)

Have you run into some crazy catladies on your dating site?

Have your allergies (or a date’s allergies) affected your dating life?

You can do just-for-fun keyword searches, of course!  Some of these might not be your own personal interests, but if girls like these, they might have other interests that coincide with yours.

Geek

Now, not every person with similar interests is necessarily going to proclaim themselves a geek, much less on their profile.  However,  many of them do, or they say they’re looking for a geek guy.  Hence, the word “geek” is a great start.

Star Trek / Star Wars

For many people, this is less an entertaining TV show or movie, and more a way of life.  These aren’t necessarily recent, but you’re more likely to find people who will mention these than, say, Dune (though I’ve seen Dune listed, I swear).

Galactica

Basically, it’s the most recent cult sf show, so it has a good chance of being listed.   If you really like an older show like Sliders, it has less of a chance of being listed – but people who like Galactica might like older sf shows.

Whedon/Buffy/Firefly

What does it say about a person if they like Joss Whedon shows?  What does it say if they like them so much they mention him by name?  Lots!

Gamer

If a girl calls herself a gamer, chances are she means it.  Unless she’s really, really confused, and means player.

RPG

This can mean many things, but mentioning it at all means it’s worth a look.

Anime / Otaku

In my experience, people who have an interest in anime also tend to have interests in sf, or fantasy, or both.  Cosplayers might have started out as tabletop gamers, and vice-versa.

This is just a small sampling of what you can come up with.   When doing searches of any kind, I like going as broad as possible, and then narrowing, just so there’s no lost opportunities – and that applies to geeks, too!   Just because you’re one flavor of geek doesn’t mean you can’t search for all kinds – there’s much more crossover than you might think!

Happy hunting!

Here’s a little bit about what they might be thinking…

First, it’s important to remember that body type is totally subjective.  Wii Fit might tell a girl that her weight is normal, but Howard Stern might say she’s overweight, because his standards are very narrow.  E describes this problem in one of her National Examiner posts.

E mentions in her post that women from the UK proudly call themselves curvy when they’re quite small.  (Curvy there is more of a reference to breast size than weight.) I had a similar experience; where I grew up, there were many girls from Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic, and the word “curvy” was thrown around a lot, referring to shape, not weight.  Even today, culture plays a role in definition.

Historically, as in, say, the last 100 years, the term “curvy” typically meant one who was noticeably hourglass-shaped, or maybe just a girl who was genetically blessed in the, ah, bust area.  You could weigh 100 lbs and be five-foot-two, and be curvy.  You could also be five-foot-ten and curvy – it was the proportions that counted, not the weight.  If you were simply overweight, you might use a word like “plump” or “round.”

In the past few years, curvy has seemed to become synonymous with overweight.  Personally, I think it just goes right along with the glorification of stick-thin women like Nicole Richie – it’s not enough to be healthy and thin, but any curves are now associated with fat, and must be eradicated.  I recently read that Scarlett Johansson was attempting to lose all extra weight, and work with Gwenyth Paltrow’s trainer.  I think most guys would agree that Scarlett is fine the way she is, curves and all.

Many women,  overweight or not,  think “curvy” is the best description of themselves.  When you’re narrowing your search parameters, it’s important to remember that body type deals not only with your subjectivity, but hers.  If they have slightly low self-esteem or are self-conscious, a girl might think she has “a few extra pounds,” when anyone looking at her might say she’s average, or even slender (maybe she used to weigh 100, put on some weight, and is now 120).

It’s great do a custom search, but it’s also important to really branch out and see what’s out there.  It would be a shame to miss out on an awesome match simply because the two of you weren’t on the same page in descriptive terms.

Besides, is body type really the most important qualifier when you’re looking for love?

We at GDG and Online Dating Profiler are equal opportunity providers and believe that everyone deserves love.   I trust that my usual crowd will be respectful, but please know that I will delete any comments from this post that stir up drama between the faiths.

So what is your friendly neighborhood Atheist, Agnostic, Buddhist, Pagan, Wiccan, or (insert your flavor here) to do when looking for a compatible mate online?

Custom Searches Are Your Best Friend

Skip the usual search functionality and set up your own Custom Searches.  I have a detailed series on Match.com’s custom searches, but most sites will let you do something similar.

Make a custom search for people who fit your religious beliefs as well as any other major qualities (age, distance, etc).   Sometimes the “mutual match” features will show people who are not your religious match just because they match you in other areas.   This is why custom searches are key.

What To Do If Your Matches Are Few

• Expand your search radius.

If there aren’t enough Buddhists in your hometown, stretch your search out by 20-50 miles and see if that picks up more hits.

• Loosen up your other requirements.

Sure, you might not think you’d be interested in someone so young/old, but you might get lucky and find someone really mature/young for her age!  Rob the cradle (legally!) or get yourself a cougar.  You might like it.

• Look for open-minded Christians.

There are plenty of people in the world who are Christian and open-minded about other religions.   Don’t be afraid to email someone just because they list “Christian” as their religion.   They may just be the cool open-minded variety.   If she emails back with the fire and brimstone and tries to save your soul, just click block and move on.  No biggie.

• Seek other religious minorities.

You can have thought-provoking conversations about the nature of the universe and be happy agreeing to disagree.   It might not be your ideal, but who knows, you just might like it!

An’ It Harm None… Do What Ye Will

Be respectful and kind to the people of the online dating world.  We are all just searching for that perfection that is Love.  That’s the same no matter what name you call God.

Happy dating, Geek Friends.

He was not a “party guy” – he had a steady job and a list of hobbies ranging from intellectual pursuits to outdoorsy activities.  Where were these party girls coming from and why were they targeting him?

After heading to check out his profile, I had my answer in 5 seconds flat.

While filling out the numerous checks and pull-down menus of his profile, my client selected his income – $150k+

See where I’m going?  Even though he was honest about his income, it was attracting the type of girls who specifically search for and target men of that income level.

We’ve all heard of gold diggers.   Sadly, they are out there and when they make their dream date search, you can bet they’re checking off the top income tiers!

The Pros of Listing Your Income

• You can prove you have a job.
• You can prove you have a career.  (Different than just a job!)
• If you’re looking to attract someone with your money (and hey, to each his own!), that’s the place to do it.
• If she lists her income too, you can gauge whether you’re in the same place financially…or at the very least which one of you should pay for the first date!

The Cons of Listing Your Income

• If you’re in school and not making much, it can make you look poorer than you really are (since you are investing in your education!).
• If you’re between jobs, you have to choose between lying and leaving your old job’s income or leaving the field blank.
• If you are on the wealthier end of the spectrum, you risk attracting the gold digger type.

It’s Your Call, But Here’s My Advice

If you are on the extreme ends of the income spectrum (high or low!), leave the field blank.

This gives you the flexibility to discuss your financial situation when the need arises, rather than being judged by it up front.   You risk being left out of custom searches, but you’ll get better quality results from the matches with whom you do communicate.

Happy Dating, Geek Friends!

To protect Sid’s privacy, I will not reveal his location.   Let’s just say he lives in the southeast quadrant of the United States.

For those geographically challenged, a map is provided.  (I’m so good to you!)

Sid’s looking for a girl between 25-35 who lives within 200 miles of his ZIP code.  I’m going to start local (30 mile radius) and if need be, branch out from there.

Geekette #1

She loves to read, write, and watch documentaries (at least when she’s not watching Family Guy or The Office).  She admits to having a smartass side – but only in jest!   My favorite line – “I’m a southern girl with a southern accent, but rest assured that I have all of my teeth, I’m educated, and I don’t go to family reunions looking for a date.“

Email Starter: Ask her what her favorite Family Guy quote is… and share yours (if you’re a fan!).

Geekette #2

She plays board games and admits it as a hobby – we all know that’s just a gateway drug to RPGs!   She also loves sci-fi TV shows and all sorts of movies – so she and Sid would have plenty of small talk topics.

Email Starter: What’s her favorite board game?  Do you have any crazy board game stories about grandma throwing the monopoly money across the table in a fit of rage after having to pay rent for your 8 hotels on Boardwalk?

Geekette #3

I love this girl!  Smart is sexy, she says.  (So true!)  She belongs to a book club, loves the outdoors, has cooking adventures making dishes with names she can’t pronounce.  She’s entertaining the idea of going back to get her Masters, which is a perfect conversation starter, since Sid would like to go back to school too.  I REALLY like this girl.

Email Starter: Tell her about your favorite dish with a foreign, unpronounceable name.

…Sid’s town is a bit away from the nearest big city… so I’m extending the search to 60 miles out from his ZIP.

Geekette #4

Are you laid back and ready to giggle?  Her profile is a breath of fresh air.   This girl embraces her inner nerd, plays board games, and wins belching contests.  Totally cool.  Did I mention she’s working on her PhD?  Sid already has bonus points with her because he reads books for fun!

Email Starter: If you have a belching story, this is the girl to share it with!  Definitely mention you’re a bookworm, she’ll appreciate that!

Geekette #5

This girl says the goofier the guy, the better.  Make her laugh and she’s yours.  She’s a “word nerd” and loves reading biographies and historical fiction.   This is not her default picture – but I like it better than the default one, which is much more official (maybe a work photo?).  I can guarantee you this is the kind of girl that guys either a) send stupid messages to (aka: “U R hot!”) or b) don’t message because “she’s too perfect, she’d never go for me.”

Email Starter: Send her an email that makes her laugh and shows your smarts!

Geekette #6

She’s in the middle of three books, wants an excuse to go back to college, and loves nerdy/geeky humor.  She can teach you how to roller skate!  She owns her own business and can think of nothing better than spending an evening with you on the couch discussing books or movies.  Sounds dreamy!

Email Starter: Ask her why she chooses to roller SKATE when the trend now is to roller BLADE.  Is it a retro thing or a balance thing?  (I actually had a really hard time rollerblading because my ankles are weak! They got better the more I practiced, but I was pretty pathetic the first few times on blades.)

So Sid…

Email me if any of these ladies interest you and I will pass on their usernames so you can see their profiles and more pictures!

Want GDG to help you find your Geek Girl?

Check the Services page for more details!  If you get the Silver or Gold package, I can help you find the right girls and write them the right emails!

For the fall season, all Geek’s Dream Girl profile and search services are $5 to $10 off.   Now is the time to get your profile shined up so you can have someone special for the holidays.

Whether you need help writing a profile from scratch, editing one, choosing appropriate pictures, or creating Custom Searches, GDG has a service for you.   Guy, girl, old, young, straight, gay – everyone deserves the best online dating experience possible.  Hire me and you will get it!

Profile Help

$14.99 $9.99 – Profile critique – Will read your existing profile and give you some ideas on what to fix to make it more readable and attractive. For those who get some attention, but would like more.

$29.99 $19.99 – Profile editing – Will edit your existing profile for spelling, grammar and readability, remove any red flags, and make it irresistible to the type of person you want to meet. For those who have a complete profile, but it’s just not getting any bites.

$49.99 $39.99 – The Works! – Consultation via instant message or email about you and your goals & desires.  Will rewrite your profile from scratch, including two options for headlines.   Photo critiques for up to 20 photos to help you choose those that show you in your best light.

Search & Email Help

$9.99 $5.99 – Custom Search Setup – Will create up to 5 custom searches for your match.com account to help you find the girl (or guy!) of your dreams!

~NEW!~ $19.99 $14.99 – Head-Start Package – Will find ten people in your search radius who would be good matches for you and give you ideas on what to write them in your first email.

$39.99 $34.99 – Email Consults – Have a great spark with someone, only to have it die off after a few emails? Why not have a Geek Girl perched on your shoulder, ready to help you read between the lines of her emails and helping you say exactly what you want to say? 30 emails or one month of consultations, whichever comes first.

What Are You Waiting For?  Dates Don’t Grow On Trees!

Ok, the fruits do, but the people don’t!

Check out the Services page for more information about hiring GDG to help you find love.   Fall Sale prices will not last forever – act now!

Now that you have all these wonderful searches set up, how on earth do you go about using them to check out the possibilities?

Do you need to spend hours online?

How can you see who is new to you?

Using your time wisely is the best way to go, and here’s how:

Step One:  Navigate the Front Page

You log into match.com’s front page.  Of course, there isn’t a handy drop-down menu of your saved searches (anymore).  That was just far too useful and is gone now.  You’ll have to look on the right side for this box:

Click on “Saved searches.”

Step Two:  Hey, This Looks Familiar!

Here are all of your searches you set up!

Click your Dream Girl Search first.

Step Three: How Do You Want to View ‘Em?

You have a couple choices as far as how you’d like to see people.   The drop down menu for choices is on the right.  Gallery View shows just the photos and lets you make snap judgments:

And Details View lets you view the first few lines of the profile and decide if you’d like to read more from there:

Step Four:  Sorting ‘Em Out!

Right underneath the view button is a drop down menu of sorting options:

If you’re starting from scratch: Select “Username” and start at A.   Alternatively, select “Age” and work from youngest in your age range to oldest (or vice versa).  Tell yourself you’ll read through “x” number of pages of profiles per day.   Don’t overdo it; it’s easy to get burned out reading and after a while, they’ll all sound the same.

If you’ve been around for a while: Search by “Newest First”.   This will put the newest profiles at the top so you can keep an eye on who the new folks in town are.  If you check these daily, you can be the first guy to email a new member and maybe her first (and last!) date!

Step Five:  Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Go back to step 2 and select another search.

If you’ve liked this series…

• Please submit the posts of this series to StumbleUpon, Digg, Reddit, Delicious, or any other social bookmarking sites.
• Link your friends here!  The more, the merrier!
• Join the party by getting your Geek’s Dream GIrl updates by RSS or email!

Another search function that can be useful is the Keyword Search.   These are especially useful if you have a specific interest that you hope to share with your geek girl.

They will only filter by gender, age, location and keyword.  It will be your responsibility to sift through the profiles to be sure the girl who loves your favorite local band is also a non-smoking vegetarian Libertarian.   (Or not!)

Step One:  Click Search, then Keyword

Don’t use the keyword box at the bottom of the page.  Use the little text link at the top.  See it up there next to Custom?

Step Two:  Fill it In!

Here’s the screen you’ll see when you get to the Keyword Search:

Set your gender preference and age range first.

Then, pick your first keyword.  Go with something specific.  You want a girl who is into geology?  MMORPGs? Volunteering?  Cappuccino?  Tolstoy?

Step Three: Location, Location, Location

Consider how far you’d be willing to drive to be with someone you’d be dating.  Remember, you’d want to see this person a lot if things were going well!

Step Four:  Don’t Forget To Save

The most important thing is to save this search so you can go back and use it later.  Remember to save each keyword as a different search.

You can select to have match.com email you if a match to this search comes up.  That’s up to you.

In the next and last post of the series…

“I’ve got all these searches set up, now what do I do?“

Now, let’s back up to something a bit more realistic.   Your Dream Girl Search will probably come up with very few results (at least locally), so you need a realistic search that will be your core search.

It’s about dealbreakers… here we go…

Step One:  Click Search, Scroll Down

Scroll down until you see the following box:

Click “Edit your saved searches.”   You’ll see the following screen:

Well, not EXACTLY that screen.  Here’s a peek into my life, folks.   Some of these saved searches were mine, some are for the biz.   (Yes, I did have a redheads search.  I’d be ashamed, but I am aware I have a problem and have accepted it!)

Find your Dream Girl Search and click Edit.

Step Two:  Whittle Her Down

In your Dream Girl Search, you made the perfect woman.   However, I’m sure there are things that are not total dealbreakers.   Let’s find those and decide what a great, realistic match would be.

Basics:

• Height is a negotiable for most folks!  You may love shorties, but your dream girl may be a basketball player…
• Body type can wiggle a bit in either direction, too.  Remember, most girls don’t accurately describe themselves.  We’re either too lenient or too harsh.
• Marital Status – maybe your perfect person is Never Married, but you’d consider someone who is Divorced or Widowed.
• Uncheck the turn-on/turn-offs.
• Unless you have a serious barf moment over certain colored eyes or hair, check “Any”.

Lifestyle:

• If exercise is very important to you, leave it as is.  Otherwise, consider wiggle room.
• Same for her daily diet.
• If you’d consider a smoker (particularly if they were serious about quitting), or a different style of drinker, tweak these.
• Unless you have major beefs with certain careers, check “Any.”
• Income is a touchy subject.  If you demand a woman who has a decent income, check accordingly.
• Living arrangements can be interesting – maybe you say “I don’t want a woman who lives with her parents.”  But what if she lives with her parents as their caretaker?
• Kids and pets can be dealbreakers for some people but not for others.   For example, if she had a child that lives full time with his father, would that be okay?

Background/Values:

• What races would you consider dating?
• Sure, you’re Presbyterian.  Would you consider dating a Catholic?
• School of life?  Grad School?  Does it matter that much?
• Languages can go back to “Any.”  (If they’re on match.com, they speak enough English!)
• Would you consider someone with different political beliefs?

Step Three: About Location

Consider how far you’d be willing to drive to be with someone you’d be dating.  Remember, you’d want to see this person a lot if things were going well!

Step Four:  Don’t Forget To Save

The most important thing is to save this search so you can go back and use it later.

You can select to have match.com email you if a match to this search comes up.  That’s up to you.

In the next post…

Keyword searches… worth it?  Maybe.